geauxnola
06-18-2012, 09:16 PM
Hello, I'm new here and really just looking to say what I need to say and listen to some advice from people who understand.
About a year and a half ago, I lost the woman who was basically my second mother. She meant everything to me, and losing her hit me extremely hard. I dealt with it poorly at first but sought counseling a few months after her passing. It helped me temporarily, but I eventually stopped going because I moved. The therapist diagnosed me with GAD but she told me she thought I could deal with it well just by talking and finding ways to keep busy. For awhile, I was okay.
About a month ago, I found out this girl had been pretending to be my boyfriend's (of 3 years) girlfriend. Needless to say, I freaked out when I read things she said. (Judging by what happened, we believe it was a direct hit at me. Meaning, she purposefully posted things where I would see them. Yay Internet.) I instantly accused my boyfriend of cheating on me, lying to me, etc. I started cutting again, and came very close to taking my life. However, all the information we found made it obvious the girl was lying herself. The worst part is I KNOW that I overreacted, but at the same time, I can't get over it.
That's where the problem lies. Despite trusting my boyfriend and trying to cope with this situation, I am constantly paranoid, jealous and anxious. I have lost all self-confidence I had gained over the past couple years. I have nightmares at least 4 nights a week. I worry that he's cheating on me or just hates me, even though he doesn't display any signs of it. During the day, I am okay, but at night, I feel extremely sad and have cried almost every night for a few weeks now. I worry more than anything that my anxiety will push my boyfriend away, and all I want is the future we always talk about having. My emotions are completely counterproductive. I know anxiety isn't easy for others to deal with, especially people who don't suffer from it. I know my boyfriend loves me, and he wants to help but doesnt know how. I just want to know what I should do. I want to feel better again. Any advice would help. Thanks so much.
About a year and a half ago, I lost the woman who was basically my second mother. She meant everything to me, and losing her hit me extremely hard. I dealt with it poorly at first but sought counseling a few months after her passing. It helped me temporarily, but I eventually stopped going because I moved. The therapist diagnosed me with GAD but she told me she thought I could deal with it well just by talking and finding ways to keep busy. For awhile, I was okay.
About a month ago, I found out this girl had been pretending to be my boyfriend's (of 3 years) girlfriend. Needless to say, I freaked out when I read things she said. (Judging by what happened, we believe it was a direct hit at me. Meaning, she purposefully posted things where I would see them. Yay Internet.) I instantly accused my boyfriend of cheating on me, lying to me, etc. I started cutting again, and came very close to taking my life. However, all the information we found made it obvious the girl was lying herself. The worst part is I KNOW that I overreacted, but at the same time, I can't get over it.
That's where the problem lies. Despite trusting my boyfriend and trying to cope with this situation, I am constantly paranoid, jealous and anxious. I have lost all self-confidence I had gained over the past couple years. I have nightmares at least 4 nights a week. I worry that he's cheating on me or just hates me, even though he doesn't display any signs of it. During the day, I am okay, but at night, I feel extremely sad and have cried almost every night for a few weeks now. I worry more than anything that my anxiety will push my boyfriend away, and all I want is the future we always talk about having. My emotions are completely counterproductive. I know anxiety isn't easy for others to deal with, especially people who don't suffer from it. I know my boyfriend loves me, and he wants to help but doesnt know how. I just want to know what I should do. I want to feel better again. Any advice would help. Thanks so much.