New To The Forum

[gemsy]

Hi every1, I am new to the forum and would just like to introduce myself, and tell u a bit about my anxiety disorder.

I am 26 years old, and was first diagnosed with anxiety disorder 3 years ago when I had my first child. I saw a cognitive behavioral therapist, and she taught me ways to deal with my 'negative thoughts' and 'over breathing'. The reason for me starting with this disorder was my over thinking of where would i go to feed my child when were out, what if she cries n every1 is looking at me etc, etc. Anyway after a while my anxiety calmed down, and i was 'back to normal'. That is until now.......

3 years later, I have been hit with the problem again, I am currently struggling with social anxiety, and find it very difficult to go out in groups. I think it first started when I was going on a night out, and felt a bit nervous, which is normal for anyone, but then I started thinking 'oh, what if this is my anxiety coming back'. I really think that thinking about the anxiety has made it appear again.

I have been to see a therapist again, and basically he has gone through the same things as I was taught before (refreshed my memory about how to deal with it) and last week I thought it was working, I went out with my friends and had a good time. But this weekend was a different story. I feel like I had a relapse and everything has just gone backwards and got worse. I went out with a group of friends, felt nervous, sick, emotional, stupid for feelin like this, all sorts of symptoms came rolling back, and now I feel like im just not getting anywhere.

At the moment I am just so emotional about the whole thing, soon as I think about it I start welling up.

[bullyMeNever]

Hello I would like to help you. I am going through the social phobia too. But mine is more like, "What am I going to do when they start staring and insulting me?"

I know that therapists have a lot of good advice, but they always forget the most important treatment. Exercise. Prayer. Meditation. And mental prep for what to do when something you dont want to happen does.

You would feel much better once you have a plan for what bothers you. And dont be afraid to tell people off, they deserve it for being rude to. Especially in front of your child, they are lucky you don't smack them.

[gemsy]

Hi, thanx for the reply.

My therapist has shown me treatment of relaxing, and breathing exercises e.t.c. and sometimes i think it does help, but i guess its going to take time for my brain to actually turn my negative thinking around.

I dont have thoughts about being insulted or about people being rude, i just wonder what people think all the time 'do they think im bein boring sitting here in the corner while everyone else is having a good time'

[Simmy09]

Hi Gemsy,

I can relate to your story in particular. I struggle with the behavioral effects of my anxiety. i am 29 and my anxiety has come back with a vengance after landing a new job at the end of April. Although the job was in a field I was very familiar with, I almost immediately became incredibly nervous. I had crazy thoughts about not performing well and making mistakes despite being praised for transitioning well and doing a great job. Why couldn't I just go with the flow?

I became nauseous and jittery before going to work in the morning. The 4th day on the job I got so worked up and sick that I vomitted (sorry for the graphic image) in my car. Pretty much all downhill from there. My last day of work was exactly one month after I began. Now other worries began to creep in. How am I going to pay bills? Will I ever be able to work? What will others think? Etc.

I was so out of it and anxious that I decided to miss one of my best friend's bachelorette party the first week of June. I was worried about my mood and panic attacks would ruin her time and the time of others. When I told her I wasn't attending the day before, yes the day before, she began to cry and beg me to come along. I agreed that I would push through and go and that made me feel good, but the next morning I became so overwhelmed I didn't go. I didn't want to ruin the occasion.

Some days I feel great and can face the day, no problem. Other days I am tearful, cry often, and feel hopeless and guilty about my feelings and actions....like I am a horrible person for doing these things. Just when I feel like I can and have snapped out of it, anxiety and depression rears it's ugly head.

I could go on and on but I'll stop. Just wanted to let you know I understand. :-)

[alankay]

Bully, have you ever told you may be paranoid or a bit manic? Both? Alankay

[gemsy]

Thanx Simmy09,

Its good 2 just hear that your were alone with these thoughts, I totally get your thoughts and understand how you feel.

Today im fine, but other days I can be an emotional wreck. Its so hard when you've had it once aswel, and it comes back again, because you know its all in your head, but yet your head is telling you these things !!!

I also get nervous about being sick in front of people, I tend to think if im anxious and feel sick, what if i am sick, where will there be toilets, what if people notice. the list goes on and on.

I just have to keep telling myself iv got over this problem once, I can do it again (although my body doesnt agree at the moment).

Do you see a therapist about your anxiety? Or have any treatment at all?

[bullyMeNever]

No I used to be paranoid, but then I tried to defend myself against the verbal abuse, it only made things worse.

I now feel better about myself, but I've had a thousand people go out of there way to harass me. I've done the research and what these people have done to me has crossed the line into attempted murder.

The only reason they get away with it is because I didn't have the strength to scare them off. Now I am hitting the gym, maybe fear will intimidate them into submission.