Yea so I've really lost my marbles and need help with this.

[Foamy]

I can hardly leave my *bedroom*.
I find myself stealing food from the kitchen at stupid hours in the morning when my family is asleep, or asking my younger sister to pick me up something.

Um. I did have a therapist. And he was actually pretty decent, didn't try to minimize things or force medication (I have an extremely addictive personality, most psych meds are addictive. Yea you can see why this is bad idea). He.. died of a heart attack a few months ago.
Yeahhh...
I'm not inclined to try to trust someone else, mostly because of how anxiety disorders are seen as jokes and the whole "you need to come to me" stuff.

I miss my life. I had a social life. I have a girlfriend - why she hasn't left me I don't know. I did reasonably well in school.

Anxiety started to get bad last summer, but didn't hit to this kind of severity until the fall. January-March I was doing reasonably well, then.. yeah. I broke down.

I don't know what to do. I'm seriously considering turning back to my old vices (mostly stimulants, but other stuff too) to get some relief, to be able to be social again.
I want my life back, but I can't even leave my room if there are people outside, let alone my house.

(FYI. I am a girl.)

[catman20]

My issues are very similar. I'm not a girl, but I too avoid my family as much as I can. I think I was born with mental problems, but I've hit such a decline recently that I just feel like I've lost my mind. I find it near impossible to pull any motivation from anything I once enjoyed. I have panic attacks so often that I dropped every college course but 1 ( out of 8). I've also been fired from several jobs and also quit multiple jobs due to panic attacks. Last night I got up and left during the middle of my girlfriend's family dinner. I couldn't handle it.

I have seen a counselor before. I took his prescription and his advice. Fail. He prescribed me Trazodone I believe. Whatever it was it never helped. I'm also 21. I don't drink. Any amount of alcohol can send me into a spiraling depression.

In other words, I know how you feel. I'm sorry, it sucks. I may be a bad mentor given that I may be a lost cause, but I want to mention something...
No matter how bad you're anxiety gets you MUST work on halting or curing it, because it will build up until it's too much for you to handle. I think about suicide like every other thought. It's a constant trial of should or shouldn't I. Pros and cons. The pros are there, but the will to live isn't. I have a baby on the way with my girlfriend. If that doesn't motivate you to live what will? So like I said, help yourself or find help! As quickly as possible. I'm making a doctor appointment as soon as I can. I also have dental work soon, but I'm giving life every bit of effort i have left that my mind will allow me to put out. It may be my last chance. Let's get our lives back, or at least try.

Good luck!

[catman20]

( out of 8 )*

[DrAnxiety]

I know it's tough, but you should try to find a new therapist. A lot of therapists offer a free phone consultation. That might give you the chance to at least chat with ken a bit before you make the decision to go see one.

You haven't lost your marbles and you aren't alone. This isn't as rare as you might think and people do get better. Best of luck.

[abartlett331]

I know exactly how you are feeling. I'm not a woman, but I did suffer from high anxiety and still do from time to time. I know it can be really hard to go out and interact with people, especially because you're feeling like your heart is racing, your palms are sweating, and your head is spinning. I had those symptoms which basically made me stay home all day and not go out for anything. My girlfriend at the time kept urging me to leave the house and get a breath of fresh air. "Go out with friends, let’s go to the movies, let’s go to the gym," is what she would tell me. Of course I would refuse and she would get mad.

At times I would even think to myself, how did I get through high school?? I felt so out of touch with the world that I also felt like I was losing my marbles. What I started to realize was that the times I did interact with people, I would feel just fine. Like it was not that big of a deal. You see, what I came to realize was while I was in the moment doing things like having a casual conversation, or laughing with family members, is that sometimes I actually enjoyed it. I came to the conclusion that the problem wasn't interacting or being afraid of people, it was getting to that point that was difficult.

The transition phase between being by yourself and feeling like you need to psyche yourself out or take a deep breath just to go out and talk to someone was the real issue. So what I started doing was purposely leaving my room our house just to interact with people. You see, the more you do something that makes you truly uncomfortable, the more you train your sub-conscious to accept these things. You're telling your mind, "hey we're going to do this whether you like it or not!"

This certainly isn't easy, but it must be done. A lot of actors have even admitted to suffering from anxiety, and confessed that the way they overcame it was through constantly engaging in it... What a better way than to act in front of a camera. My point is that you have to face your fears and overcome them at any cost. Constantly challenging our minds is what makes us stronger and more able to cope with life. Think about this and best of luck to you.. :)

[alankay]

Seriously, screw the non rx'd drugs and seek another good therapist. I know it's hard but you are worth it. Trust me it's the best way. Alankay

[Salliz]

I have been suffering from depression and anxiety for years and only recently had developed a fear of leaving the house. It is a horrible feeling and I totally understand. I have been physically forcing myself make small trips out to places I feel comfortable and then have been pushing myself a little more each time. I have had to double my meds to do it. But I am getting there. Goodluck.

[Jay1985]

I know it's hard , but try to get out the house, even if its just for a walk or run, you'll feel so much better after

[OvercomeIt]

I feel the same way sometimes yo are not alone!

[scared44]

I also suffer social phobia and only used to leave my home to go to the doctor's! Then one day I told myself that I had to get out of the house each day even if it was for a quick coffee, a bit of shopping ect ect!! It has certainly helped me alot even though I still have a panic attack when I'm out. I'm also at the point where I don't care what people think of me ect ect. I've had my panic disorder, depression ect since the age of 12yrs and am now 45yrs and it never gets any easier. You have to push through your fears. If I can anyone can believe me. Take care... :-) xx

[yellowrose]

Does anyone else ever get struck by thoughts that they can't trust humans. That all people are possessed by the devil and are not what they appear to be. This is my obsessional fear but I never ever come across anyone else who experiences such thoughts. Am I completely crazy???????????? When with other people I often involuntarily imagine what is within a person's head and body and imagine all kinds of weird black images that upset me and cause panic attacks. Can anyone else relate to this????????????????????????????????????

[Judie]

I also suffer social phobia and only used to leave my home to go to the doctor's! Then one day I told myself that I had to get out of the house each day even if it was for a quick coffee, a bit of shopping ect ect!! It has certainly helped me alot even though I still have a panic attack when I'm out. I'm also at the point where I don't care what people think of me ect ect. I've had my panic disorder, depression ect since the age of 12yrs and am now 45yrs and it never gets any easier. You have to push through your fears. If I can anyone can believe me. Take care... :-) xx

Yes that's exactly what you have to do. Keep going out, facing it. Go after the anxiety with the same vengeance it goes after you. You'll win. Anxiety's a bully, the bully always backs down when it's confronted. Anxiety thrives on reaction to survive. :) Be Well ! Trust me I know it never gets easier.

[Bam77]

Its very hard and might take some time but you can do it. I got out for the first time in a while today..if only for 20 minutes. I struggled the whole time but I did it. Judie is spot on! Anxiety is a bully, but we can kick its ass.

[Judie]

I have been suffering from depression and anxiety for years and only recently had developed a fear of leaving the house. It is a horrible feeling and I totally understand. I have been physically forcing myself make small trips out to places I feel comfortable and then have been pushing myself a little more each time. I have had to double my meds to do it. But I am getting there. Goodluck.

That's exactly what you have to do Salliz, desensitize yourself and retrain your brain to know that anxiety starts in the mind and ends in the mind. Empower yourself and the best way to do it is to consistently go out and face the realization that negative thoughts and fear bring it on and positive thoughts and guts get rid of it. Be Well

[calimel]

That is exactly what I did when I started feeling like that. Forced myself to leave every day, invented somewhere to go, grocery store for a quick trip, bank. If I had several errands in a week, I didn't do them in one day, I made them last all week. It took a few months, but that fear of leaving home went away. It does work to make yourself go out. :) I'm still a homebody, and perfectly happy if I stay home all day but I don't fear leaving.

[TheBlack]

I think you need to take small steps. Try to gain small exposure to social situations. For example, try to leave your room for a certain time limit.

[AnxietyAmbz]

I had to reply im in the exact same boat i fear leaving the house mainly because off becoming ill when i hav my toddler with me. Im just trying to learn to cope with this. I liked reading all the comments of others. X

[alankay]

At some point you need to get you life back and they may come at the cost of "forcing" yourself to trust/try a therapist again and/or trying meds. Anxiety treatment, any medical treatment in fact, is not always what we want unfortunately. Alankay

[atcmom]

I'm starting to get back out again. I find small trips to places I can get out of work the best, like walk in CVS, look around, leave if it's too much. (the mall in other words wouldn't work!) I'm getting out more and more and even though it's tough I feel better about myself. I will say my mom couldn't even go to her mailbox at the end of her driveway for months when she was in her 20s. This is the same lady that in her 50's has been cruising the world! She travels 7-8 months out of the year and if panic hits she just figures 'screw it', I can do it!

[fortizboriqua]

Keep it up. Eventually it gets easier. I would not avoid the malls. Put yourself there also. Eventually this will all be behind you. I had agoraphobia and put myself in stores and malls almost every day. Malls were the worst. After I started to get used to the crowd in malls I started to pay attention to what was causing me to have panic. What I found was I would start to feel panic when people would pop into my peripheral vision. Panic comes from fear of the the illness not fear of being in crowds. What I found was every time I started to have panic I would pay attention to the sensation and fear it because the sensation is horrible. Fear fuels panic, so try to ignore it once it wants to hit. Divert your attention to something other than the sensation. Another thing I caught myself doing was when I would walk into a store I would immediately look to see how many people are in the store. I now just walk in and pay attention to what I'm there for not how many people are there. No matter how much anxiety or panic wants to come on ignore it and go about your business and eventually the panic wi dissolve into nothing.

[fortizboriqua]

I'm starting to get back out again. I find small trips to places I can get out of work the best, like walk in CVS, look around, leave if it's too much. (the mall in other words wouldn't work!) I'm getting out more and more and even though it's tough I feel better about myself. I will say my mom couldn't even go to her mailbox at the end of her driveway for months when she was in her 20s. This is the same lady that in her 50's has been cruising the world! She travels 7-8 months out of the year and if panic hits she just figures 'screw it', I can do it!

Keep it up. Eventually it gets easier. I would not avoid the malls. Put yourself there also. Eventually this will all be behind you. I had agoraphobia and put myself in stores and malls almost every day. Malls were the worst. After I started to get used to the crowd in malls I started to pay attention to what was causing me to have panic. What I found was I would start to feel panic when people would pop into my peripheral vision. Panic comes from fear of the the illness not fear of being in crowds. What I found was every time I started to have panic I would pay attention to the sensation and fear it because the sensation is horrible. Fear fuels panic, so try to ignore it once it wants to hit. Divert your attention to something other than the sensation. Another thing I caught myself doing was when I would walk into a store I would immediately look to see how many people are in the store. I now just walk in and pay attention to what I'm there for not how many people are there. No matter how much anxiety or panic wants to come on ignore it and go about your business and eventually the panic wi dissolve into nothing.

[Greggs2583]

Agoraphobia can be a very debilitating condition, I know because I've been there before, you must understand that what your experiencing is only an emotion not an illness, you are suffering from too much of the emotion of fear, your mind is constantly sending out risk assessments to search for a potential threat, but in anxiety disorders...no real threat is present in our environment, so we automatically create the fear and we start to send out risk assessents, "What if" i leave my house and everyone laughs at me etc, the way to overcome anxiety is to retrain your amygdala (a small organ in the brain responsible for emotions) into knowing your safe, feel free to drop me a private message and I'll explain more :)
Thanks

[Fourteen14]

Agoraphobia can be a very debilitating condition, I know because I've been there before, you must understand that what your experiencing is only an emotion not an illness, you are suffering from too much of the emotion of fear, your mind is constantly sending out risk assessments to search for a potential threat, but in anxiety disorders...no real threat is present in our environment, so we automatically create the fear and we start to send out risk assessents, "What if" i leave my house and everyone laughs at me etc, the way to overcome anxiety is to retrain your amygdala (a small organ in the brain responsible for emotions) into knowing your safe, feel free to drop me a private message and I'll explain more :) Thanks

Great post Greggs2583

I love your concept of emotional risk assesment.

[spartymum]

I have been keeping my self safe and not going anywhere afraid of dying . My bf lives about an hr away and my first ride out was horrible ! I had to call the crisis line to talk to me almost the whole way out . Second time was coming home it wasn't as bad but I still had a panic attack :(( this weekend I drove out here but I bought audio books to listen to .. Anxiety and phobias and purpose driven life and what a difference it made ... Baby steps .. I have to fly in 2 weeks and I am freaking out!!!!! Not sure how to deal with this one ??? Any help would be great

[kerryann2011]

I constantly feel like I'm losing my mind too. You're not! People do not go crazy from anxiety or panic attacks or agoraphobia. You still have a grip on reality right? As hard as it is you have to look for a new therapist. When you call them, tell them how hard it is for you and tell them you really need help just even getting to the office. I guarantee you they will help. I go to mine every single week and every single week I don't want to, but those days that it is the hardest are the days you need it the most. We have anxiety and panic attacks, but those disorders do not define who we are, don't forget that! No matter how horrible you feel, you will get through it and you will come out stronger than ever. I hope this helps!

[Matt192]

I've found with me personally, the attacks started gradually. I felt just horrible for about 2 weeks then I experienced my first one. My doctor wouldn;t tell me this but what I later found out was I had a vitamin deficiency of D and B, something that blood tests don't even look for. When I corrected the deficiency in my body, that was when I was able to start healing, physically and mentally. It's not something you won't get over. I got through it after 3 years of suffering from it and today, I feel myself again.

[DavidUK]

At one point I could not go out at all. I spent Christmas day one time alone in my bedroom with bags of garbage everywhere because I was too scared to even go out to the trash area.

I have to say that medication (Nardil) has helped me at least get out of the house but it is not the be-all-and-end-all. Medication only works in conjunction with some form of cognitive restructuring - understanding your thought processes and changing them

Perhaps visit your General practitioner and explain again exactly what is going on. Beyond that try looking at "emotional release" systems. Personally I have been able to almost neutralise certain beliefs and feelings using EFT and PSTEC.

[After5hock]

Does anyone else ever get struck by thoughts that they can't trust humans. That all people are possessed by the devil and are not what they appear to be. This is my obsessional fear but I never ever come across anyone else who experiences such thoughts. Am I completely crazy???????????? When with other people I often involuntarily imagine what is within a person's head and body and imagine all kinds of weird black images that upset me and cause panic attacks. Can anyone else relate to this????????????????????????????????????

I absolutely do not trust people. I put faith in them, but I have it in my head that everyone is very untrustworthy. I barely even can say that I trust my mom anymore. It sometimes makes me feel like my brain is literally being twisted (like someone ringing out a rag).. and when I do have to trust people, I feel extremely panicky (which I've learned to hide for the most part)

[Mr.Andrew]

[QUOTE="After5hock"]

I absolutely do not trust people. I put faith in them, but I have it in my head that everyone is very untrustworthy. I barely even can say that I trust my mom anymore. It sometimes makes me feel like my brain is literally being twisted (like someone ringing out a rag).. and when I do have to trust people, I feel extremely panicky (which I've learned to hide for the most part)[/QUOTE

Test message

[Drowninginregrets]

Thank you all for sharing these stories, I feel like I'm reading my own story. Makes me feel like I'm not alone or crazy (which I feel all the time) it's hard to talk to anyone about my anxiety because people don't relate. They think I'm over exaggerating.

[kianalynn]

to all of you, I have had the good doctors who understand and are educated about these problems and those who think that you just want drugs. don't forget that you can fire a doctor. You need to keep trying and finding a doctor that you can build a rapport with and understands and is educated in these kind of disorders. I had a very good one but I moved to another state and only have a gp but he tries although he doesnt know about different meds. just keep trying,,, don't give up till you find the right doctor, therapist, pschyc for you... good luck

[Anacin]

i can also barely leave my house or room. it's only getting worse. i can barely walk out my door. luckilly though ive had the same problem since i was a teenager so im used to all the anxiety and though it seems alarming i know not to be alarmed this is nothing new. sooooooooooooo any drugs would cause new problems. your old vices. sooooooooooo i would probably avoid causing even more problems than you already have now................. and um herm what else? well i have the same problem. the one good therapist i had among a sea of really bad ones i moved an hour away from then when i moved back he no longer takes my insurance. so i cant go back to him. he said he was going to help me.

[SD JONES]

I have had anxiety disorder for 30 years. Its been sheer HELL and at one point I was house bound for a few years.
I was so scared, I am a male and the whole macho thing was a big thing for me.
It gets better, trust in in yourself and your abilities to overcome.... I look forward to interact.

[SD JONES]

just saw your post,, I have has this disease for over 30 years,,,,
It does get better, I am 80% better
I am here to help if you need me.
SD
I am a male.

[SD JONES]

planes can be tricky..
I consumed myself in a MP3, Kindle books, movies, and engage in chatting with people and for me that put the reality back into the situation.
I felt out of my body and so connecting with another human, made it alright for me.
I also found keeping busy with 3 to 4 small tasks to do, made me busy and before I know it, I had arrived with no problem.
It does get easier, trust yourself.
Nobody EVER as died from an anxiety attack.....
This too shall pass.. My fav saying when I am going through one.
SD

[SD JONES]

What other things have you tried to help you
u with this>

[JenXO]

It is not rare as you think it is to have panic disorder. I overcame my fear of going out if I did then you can too. I used to get full blown panic attacks just from leaving the house. There is hope trust me.

[hungkindlecafevn]

mọi người cùng ủng hộ nào

[Chicko Ekila]

thanks i will try the stuff

[Chicko Ekila]

is it rightam i i dumb

[The Intolerable Kid]

I used to be the same way, didn't want to leave my room, etc. I didn't have the boon of a girlfriend at the time, it's good you have at least one person. I had a lot of trouble overcoming those feelings. The only thing that helped me was moving to a different city after high school and going to a Tech school. I met people of all ages from all walks of life there, at the age of 18 it really helped with my SA. I also had vices similar to yours and I did feel they helped when used in moderation.

[MEmily1105]

Im the same way. I dont like meeting new people at all. Im always worried about being judged because most of my life people always have and acting like it doesnt matter is even more difficult now that Ive been suffering with PTSD. People can be really mean man