Does anyone on here work as a waitress/bartender??

[lmgibson87]

Hi everyone,
I've posted on here before, my name is Laura I'm 24 yrs old and I have gen. anxiety and panic disorder. I was just wondering if anyone here works as a waiter?? I work at a restaurant and have for about 4 months to pay my way thru law school. I have been really stressed lately and am working alot to catch up with a ton of bills and am having so much trouble at work. I literally dread going in there and cannot stand when customers are rude to me so I get so anxiety ridden my whole night gets ruined and out of control. I also have ADD so I know waitressing is not the right job for me AT all, but I am friendly and smart and in shape so I figured I would give it a try again since it was one of my only options. I have gotten panic attacks almost every shift while working and it is absolutely miserable when I'm talking to a table and start to feel depersonalization. I also get so worn out physically and mentally that the rest of my day is usually just full of worry up until work :/ The problem is I make good money and need to keep this job right now until I find something better.

I do take xanax .5 about twice a day but I really don't want to have to take it at work ALL the time. Any tips or suggestions to get thru work until I can find something better?? I'm so stressed, any advice will help! -Laura

[carlyjs]

A few questions, how do u deal with the depersonalize feeling while ur at a table? How do u react?
Also what kind if lawyer r u studying to be?

I also take .5 Xanax 4 times a day. I thought if waitressing but I know I couldn't handle it. U in the other hand seem to push through it. I believe taking Xanax b4 ur shift might do the trick. I know u don't want to take it all the time but until u can be done waitressing I believe it will b ur best friend.

[lmgibson87]

Hi there carlyjs thanks for responding!! Thankfully the depersonalization at work has only happened a few times but it was so scary I think that triggered most of my other work anxiety. When it happens I just feel like I have no idea what I was saying to these people and talking nonsense and had no control over what I was saying or doing its awful. I just quickly told them I would be right back and immediately went outside to calm down. On nights that happens though its awful and I get so behind and everyone gets pissed at me at work and I start screwing everything up. I also can't deal with the fact that I always obsess that my tables must think something is wrong with me, even when depersonalization doesn't happen. It's scary! Usually every time I walk into work I dread thinking I am going to have to have a depersonalization episode that ruins my night.

And I have one more year of school, I'm going to be an intellectual property lawyer, and deal with copyright and trademark and contracts. Nothing that has to do with standing in front of juries and arguing cases really so thank god! But lately all this stress is making me doubt my ability at that too. I get really nervous at my internship even talking to my boss and telling him ideas I have for clients even if I know they are good because I keep obsessing over the fact that since I can't be a good waitress there is no way I will be a good lawyer :/ It is totally affecting my confidence and ability to assert myself so I'm very frustrated.

Also it probably doesn't help I work basically all of the time on a wacky schedule which switches constantly and barely get enough sleep.

[Esdiva]

Word for word, you describe my current experience as a waitress. I am at my wits end at my job... I have general anxiety as well, and for the most part I keep it under control except when I'm waitressing. I get so stressed there and then I stress at home before I go in. It's ruining my life bc I feel like what if I can't accomplish anything in life because I can't even handle this one job? Everyone else I work with is so level headed, I feel alone in my struggle. What did you end up doing ? I know your post is from a couple years back.. Maybe you could shed some light on my situation. I would like to switch jobs but don't want to run from my problems. What is the right thing for me
To do?