Just left all of my food in the cart, walked out now crying in my car

[carlyjs]

As much as I try and listen to everyone about facing it and not giving in I can't stop it. Every time I go into a god damn store I feel like I'm going to pass out. I hate this shit. I feel like an idiot. I can't even shop for my family. Why can't I beat this? It's been over a decade. I have all the tools but it always wins and as mad as I am right now I wanna scream "f u" it's still winning.

[Cassiopeia]

I have the same issue too! My fiancee has to do all the shopping and I feel so bad. Usually I can't go into stores or any place crowded otherwise I will panic.

[carlyjs]

Uhhh that's do frustrating. At least I'm not alone in this world. I'm fed up with doing this. 2 years ago I could go food shopping. Now all of a sudden I can't.

[Velrose]

Uhhh that's do frustrating. At least I'm not alone in this world. I'm fed up with doing this. 2 years ago I could go food shopping. Now all of a sudden I can't.

Reading this just broke my heart. You'll beat it though, take one day at a time. We have our bad days... sometimes quite a few in a row... but there are good days in there too. Message me if you ever need someone to talk to.

[PanicCured]

I totally did this! Except I couldn't make it out of the store. I left the super market in an ambulance with a crowd watching me. All from a panic attack. I felt I was going to explode and the walls would cave in and I left all my food in the cart and tried to run out, then I grabbed the guy at the juice bar in the front of the store and sat on the ground holding his hand begging him to help me. One girl comes over, "Is this a heart attack? Is this a heart attack!" I had them call an ambulance. Of course I got to the hospital and took a lot of tests, lightened my wallet a bit and then the big smile from the doctor, "Well, everything is normal!"


Guess what? That was about a year and a half ago and now I am 100% anxiety free! Now I tell this story it makes me laugh. How silly I was? I even had random strangers from the market come into the ambulance with me. Boy was I a wreck! You will laugh at this one day too. There's nothing to be ashamed about.

Now that you see how nothing bad happened to you, this is very good for you. It was the right thing to go out and face your fears. Keep doing it. Eventually you will get it and see nothing bad cam happen and you won't pass out. What helped me was reduced breathing everytime I felt scared. TO be very careful not to over breathe.

The great thing about being in public, is if you actually really did just collapse, someone would come rescue you.

Now Carly, it is very important you don't look at this as a mistake and start thinking you just can't do this, so you need to manage and organize your life around anxiety. Keep going out there.

[dazza]

Get completely shit-faced & forget about all your worries...

Next?

[Buttercup]

Please don't view it like anxiety is winning, it's not- it's just really present in your life at the moment but that will get better. You are strong- remember that despite the fact you have felt like this in stores before you are still trying. You went to the shops and it didn't work out this time but that's ok, do not beat yourself up about it. Try baby steps first like going to the store not to buy anything but just for a quick walk around and then build it up over time. I also find that the more I expect to have a panic attack then the more likely I will.
As panic-cured said, if you did collapse someone will help you. Try and think of worst case scenario- what would that be? What would happen? It would be horrible but you'd survive and get over it and if it happened again you'd still survive and get over it. unfortunately to beat anxiety you have to be dedicated to putting yourself in uncomfortable situations and work really hard to get over it. It's crap that life has to be like that but sometimes you have to think f*** it, this is the way it is just now and I will get over it and I will do whatever it takes.
Do you see a therapist or take meds at the moment? What about taking any herbal remedies or actively practicing relaxation exercises?
B x

[carlyjs]

Thank u guys so much. U guys r great!!!! I am on Xanax .50 and it allows me to feel normal on a daily basis but doesn't prevent feelings like the one I had but it's the only peace I have. I had a good cry on the way home and when I got here but u guys r right, I do keep trying and sometimes I succeed and sometimes I don't but I still will continue to do so. I swear I'm so glad I found this forum. I finally feel like someone gets me and can relate. It's just amazing !! Thank u guys so much. Seriously!

[PanicCured]

I'm not big on Xanax, but ok. I'm pretty sure eventually it will turn on you and create new problems. 0.5 is pretty low. But, I took it too. You know what you can do, is get someone's number here, and call them if you go out and feel anxiety coming on. If you use this as a temporary crutch to get your ass out in the world, it can be helpful. But you at some point have to not rely on it. If you have a couple numbers of people who had anxiety but don't anymore, or have come a certain way in their recovery, and call them when you are out, talking to them may keep you out and about. Of course, eventually you got to be on your own. If you PM me I can give you my number.

[cat eyes]

I am going through the same. Afraid to pass out in the stores or when driving. I take celexa every night and suppose to take Xanax as needed but I am afraid to become addicted to it. It sucks! I hate feeling like death and heart flutters and papiltations. I google everything and swear I have all the side effects.

[sylvina]

Get completely shit-faced & forget about all your worries...

Next?

Well that wont help will it? Maybe for a few hours sure but the problem will still b there the next day and so will a hangover with a worser anxiety attack

[PanicCured]

Yeah worst advice ever!

[brittany09]

I have been where you are before. I'm not sure where you shop,but wal-mart used to be the worst for me! Ok, well the fact that you want to go out and do things is the first step to feeling normal again. As uncomfortable as it is for you right now,keep shopping and whatever else in public. The more you do it,the more comfortable you will be with it! Bring a paper bag,a benzo and your phone if you gotta call somebody. What's the worst that could happen? You run out of the store and go home? Nothing bad is going to happen to you. If you go home,you'll forget about it and try again. Think positive. If you think positive enough,it will become a habit. Negative thoughts are the reason behind most panic episodes. Just tell yourself your going to get this done,and your going to be fine. Start out by going to smaller places,and bring somebody with. Keep doing it and don't talk yourself out of it. I know you can get back to your old self and have confidence in you!

[lindasue]

I read that book too, and it helps to know what your body is physically going through during those times. I relate it kind of as the adreneline you feel before a roller coaster ride, but only in a very bad way! This all makes sense too and helps to have knowledge of it all, but like me and many others, it really sucks because it is much more easier said than done, even when you do understand, but what a great post that was! You hit the nail on the head for sure.

As far as benzos go, I have to have my husband dole them out to me or else I abuse them--just a thought. But I do need and they help me everyday, I don't care what people's opinion may be, I feel better on them.

[inzombiac]

Wow forwells you explained a lot! Very good post. Thanks.

[jhunter89]

Get completely shit-faced & forget about all your worries...

Next?

LOL very helpful!
I think someone had tee many martoonies

[trinidiva]

I feel very overwhelmed like that in crowded places, like the supermarket or Walmart.....
Don't be too hard on yourself, just go back and try again!!!! Like someone else said, if you start getting those panic type feelings again, try to call someone. It will help to distract you.

[Jo Smith]

Yep same here. I have left my trolley in the store tonnes of times. But I have to go shopping or I cant eat, and I dont really have anyone to go with. And infact Id be more anxious with someone, because nobodyknows about it, so id be worried about there reaction if i had to leave. I find that having a list in the order in which you pick items up helps. So you minimise time spent, and theres a finsih lline. I purposly stroll and dont rush or my breathing goes funny and I start feeling alot worse. Also I always have a cereal bar in my bag, so i no its there when i feel a bit woozy. I do also go at times when its alot quiter, like later in an evening and early morning, because too many people is baaad. Sometimes ill drive there and literally sit in my car for ages trying to get the courage to go in. And like Paniccured said, ringing someone actully really helps me. I ring my boyfriend, and he will just help by making random convo. Obviously I have to try aim my shopping when i no hes free to ring.
Now im at the point where I hate going shopping but I can still go. I have accepted the fact I will feel rubbish and want to rush out. But somehow, on most occaisions I can control my flight response. I hope you manage to overcome your fear, and dont give up, because forcing myself to do it every week and making it my routine has certainly helped. xx

[alankay]

Carl, I still have not really "beat" anxiety. Years ago I realized I never would. The fear response is not something, despite all your knownledge, you can ignore. yes some can who have less anxiety or a higher tolerance to it. Have you met with GP/pdoc to get on meds and slowly get desensitized? That's what I'd do and did because you've tried it the other way. Ask about an ssri and a benzo and begin to use less and less benzo as you get used to shopping/checking out. In time like me you'l get better at it an other situations and use just the ssri. If it helps allot for a good while drop the ssri or stay on it if you feel like it. PM me any time. Alankay

[lsapphirel]

Carlyjs,
this might sound silly, everyday, i would walk around my neighbourhood, and then id go in a shop and see if theres a long queue at the cashier, if theres none, i grab a bottle of water and i quickly rush out.

I do this everyday like a little freak, i feel like i was going to faint and i did sometimes feel my body tumbling down on 1 side and the staffs were all eyes on me cause i do this everyday like a little sneaky thief lol. but slowly, i could shop more and more, and in fact shopping gives this rush feeling of freedom, even though its only groceries.

If im giving wrong info or misunderstood your story, im sorry, I am new to the anxiety family. Just wanted to share, maybe it will help, or maybe by reading it makes you feel better. i managed to conquer some of the fears that was taking over my life since i had my first full blown PA. I did small but frequent, and slowly, it gets rids some of my fears or phobia. i was actually bed bound during the first week after the PA. and this was 2 months ago.

And yes, there is no right or wrong, win or lose. frankly, i really admire you going in with a shopping cart, i couldnt do that, i freaked out at the entrance.

Small but frequent, that was someones advice in here or ive read it here maybe or somewhere.

Maybe listening to music helps too, while shopping. :)

[lsapphirel]

PS, Forwells, is like a wizard to me.

Stuffs he explained are way better and easy to absorbed in my brain.

I dont have to think and analyze his words, it just went straight in.

Thanks forwell. :)

Sorry im riding on your post carly, couldnt help it.

I always forgot stuffs to write and say once the page has turned.

PS, that doesnt mean i dont appreciate everyone else. i really appreciate all the comments i get from here. it helps me a lot.

Im actually comparing him with my doctor. my doctor goes round and round in circles and it takes 2-3 days before i can really understand. which i dont really understand what my doc is saying half the time.

[redgem]

Hi I'm new to this but I'm Desperate for advice. I've only just been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder which I think I've had many years now although I thought my behaviour was normal for me but it has now escalated into such extreme behaviour that I think I'm going to go crazy or do something stupid. I'm in the process of being referred for cbt but I have had that in the past and not found it that helpful as I also have severe depression, I don't know how to cope as I'm at my worst at night and there is no help at that time of night. Can anyone help me please?

[charm429]

I always feel anxious at work and when I go out to eat as long as I am home I am fine