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View Full Version : My fiance is depressed...



laurandisorder
06-15-2012, 08:04 AM
Hey all,

I know. I'm usually a regular on the anxiety forum, but I need some advice on depression. I have been depressed before - a long time ago. I got sent to a psychiatrist, found anti depressants that worked a treat and I have been pretty much great - except for anxiety and panic attacks - ever since. I am still on anti depressants for major depression and probably will be for the rest of my life due to circumstances way beyond my control (e.g. Biology).

Other that the anxiety and panic attacks (which touch wood, I haven't been bothered by too much lately), I don't consider myself depressed. I don't actually remember what it feels like, which is why I am struggling badly with my fiancé and his recent bout of depression.

We have been together 8 years, own a house and have pets (no kids). He is unemployed for the second time in the past 12 months. His workplace closed down. He isn't eating right, sleeping right, looking for work or treating me right. I'm busting my ass trying to support both of us by working full time and he is literally doing NOTHING each day. Not even simple household chores.

Needless to say, our relationship is under a LOT of strain. The past two weeks I have almost packed up my stuff and left twice. I have done this before in November 11 - I went and stayed with my parents and I only came back because I care very much for this guy and felt incredibly guilty. I often wish I didn't.

My partner has been on Aropax/Paxil for years, but hasn't been to any kind of therapy and pretty much refuses to go, or bails at the last minute - like when I booked couples therapy for us a while back.

I just don't know what to do to support him. It's a messed up Catch 22. He blames his depression on our relationship problems and I blame our problems on is depression..

I also have to worry about myself. This is not making my issues any better :(

alankay
06-15-2012, 09:47 AM
He needs to submit to treatment and you may have to practice some "tough love" but first exhaust all your energy to convince him to get med help before that. Effexor might be worth a try as well as lexapro or an add on ssrri augmentor. I do underdstand his is in a very, very bad place right now. But he won't get out by doing what he has been to this point. Alankay.