Trying meditation triggered the worst state of my mind

[carlyjs]

O I have suffered from anxiety for 14 yrs or more. I have just managed to deal through Xanax and ppl doing things for me that I could not. I hit a wall recently when I found myself unable to work so I went. To see this new therapist. He was a spiritual healer. He tried teaching me meditation, grounding excersise and other relaxation methods. After I seen him and really focused on doing it faithfully I felt worse and fell into a horrible depression. It got so bad I called a crisis hotline because I thought of killing myself. How could this happen after trying to better myself with these great tools that made so much sense? It was so confusing to me. I went to see the therapist again and just cried the whole hour. I called him a day later telling him I was going to commit myself. I stopped all excersises and meditation of any kind and went back to no therapy and it went away. I'm still suffering from anxiety but not so bad that I want to die! I don't understand why this would happen. All of it made so much sense, it was so clear and felt so good but it was like a Demond inside of me didn't want me to get better or something. It was horrible. Has anyone ever experienced this therapy of any sort? We didn't even bring up any triggers in therapy. Just strictly "now" and how to deal and refocuse my Attention. Weird huh?

[hopeNfaith88]

I can relate. Whenever i try to meditate, or even talk to my therapist its like i begin to get very depersonalized and depressed. Its hard for me to focus and describe my anxiety in therapy. I lose my train of thought and cant get out what im feeling and it triggers a panic attack. Same with meditation. I focus so much that i either fall half way asleep or drift off and let my mind wander and when i come back to focusing i panic and the world doesnt look right for the rest of the day. Its weird to explain. But i suppose addressing anxiety makes us anxious because avoidance feels better. I would say meditation just isnt the right route for you. I find that im fearful of hypnosis or seeing a spiritual therapist because in the back of my mind i worry im going to be sedated against my will or somethig supernatural will happen. So those types of things wouldnt help me because i cant get inthe right mindset. But there is surely a type of assistance for your anxiety that can help. Id look into self help books or a regular therapist

[jeremyfresno]

Hi guys!!

Personally I have been meditating daily sometimes 2-3 a day and it helps me tremendously! I've had one bad experiences where I fell asleep during a self induced hypno-therapy session and had a very bad nightmare and felt like I was awake yet I was asleep it felt really strange and weird and scary. After that though I continue to meditate and it helps me to relax and clear my head. Try sitting properly or laying down flat and clear your mind and make sure you don't think about your emotions just let them fade and if they come let them come on their own. In other words try your best to not think that way you can fully benefit and clear all your thoughts

Jeremy

[Mysticsoul]

People with anxiety do what is called bracing. This mental and physical defense mechanism prevents us from contacting the underlying feelings that may be driving anxiety and depression.

Anytime you reduce a defense mechanism you can get more anxiety and panic. Your own psyche is the best source of what is wrong with you but it has a protective shell to prevent it from flooding you with information and emotions. Any relaxation method or reduction in activity can cause these reactions.

What this means is that you have a reservoir of painful trauma or emotions that needs to be uncovered gently and with good guidance with meditation.

[alankay]

When I pay too much attention or try to "work" on my anxiety it can aggravate it. By reinforcing what we feel and keeping of attention on it it reinforces itself sort of. It help convince us it's really a big problem that's why I recommend reading about anxiety/education only when not anxious.
I meet with a pdoc and consider a very slow upward taper of an ssri like zoloft/prozac(start very low and go up very slowly) and rely on a medium long acting benzo like ativan to reduce interdose anxiety. Some get good results from meditation, others not. PM me any time. Alankay

[Velrose]

Oh.. wow. I just went to therapy today with a new counselor and she wants me to start several relaxation techniques. But she warned me, sometimes when people with anxiety first start out with these things, it can make their anxiety worse, as they are becoming more focused on their bodies, and their thoughts and what's going on inside of them.

[Buttercup]

I have to admit that I felt like if I met another therapist/counsellor/psychologist who told me to focus on breathing and relaxation techniques or meditation I would punch them in the face, lol.
It's great to know how to relax but sometimes with heightened anxiety it is just not possible. With all the relaxation courses I have been on, therapists I have seen who taught me methods and cd's I have listened to I could write a bloody book about it!! Thankfully the latest therapist I have seen is a psychoanalyst and she did not mention breathing techniques and I am so grateful becuase I'd probably have walked out if she did! What I have worked on with her is the root of my anxiety, building confidence and learning to trust myself. She has also educated me on the ins and outs of anxiety and how the body/mind works. This has been so beneficial and worked wonders.

[carlyjs]

Wow! I'm so glad I'm not alone. I felt like I was nuts! What a relief to hear everyone's story! Thank you all do much for sharing! I feel so uplifted :D