Can anyone help please

[joel83]

Hi guys

I am writting on this forum as a kind of last resort. I really dont quite know which way to turn. On reflection I have been suffering from anxiety now for about 4 years. This anxiety can hit me at any time. It happens when the attention is all on me, like having all eyes on me.I cant be in a large group and have attention on me because I have so many nerves. I have just started work and a question may get asked to me, and an attack will hit. I could be at a party and without alcohol I cant relax. Family gatherings, meals, any social situation where I feel closed in and kind of unable to escape, where all the attention can come onto me. I get sweats which is effecting my career as i work in shop sales. I shake, my words stumble out, I bite my nails, and Its seriously affecting my life. The real horrible thing is that I am a naturally confident, happy, young 29 yeaqr old, who has a great life. I have travelled the world, have just landed my dream job, and have amazing friends and family, I just cant get rid of this anxiety. I am without seeming arrogant, a good looking lad, but cannot approach women as I am so pertified I will sweat. This is the worst part of it, the sweats, its so embarrasing, espeially in work. We have loads of amazing social events at work, but the thought of me having to go on stage, or be made to play games in front of people scares me because I will sweat and tense up. Seriously guys what can I do? I am currently on Propranolol for time when I may have an attack, it helps slightly but barely. Any advice would be great. Its ruining my life and I am getting so depressed by not being able to live my life. Thank you. Joel

[white_dahlia]

Hi Joel,

I am not sure I can help but can offer support and share my own experience, and can share some resources and tips which should be able to help.
I am also suffering with the symptoms you mentioned, for three years now. I am also taking Propranolol, for two years and a half now. I used to take it before meetings, then three times a day (I got some very unpleasant side effects from it, however, which is why I went back to on/off as and when needed). You may not experience such side effects, each person is different. I can definitely say that taking the propranolol regularly helped my general anxiety and helped manage the stage fright.
Just like you, I was very shocked when I started suffering with the anxiety symptoms. I had never had difficulty in the type of situations I am having difficulty now - talking to colleagues/superiors/presentations/meetings. I used to go even to board interviews without a glitch. Had never had problems with presentations or meetings. Then after a car crash something happened. I was going through a difficult time in my relationship and work, as well as with my finances, and I think the car crash was the last straw. I started having anxiety attacks when presenting or talking to people. Used to feel like I was having a heart attack, could hardly control my jaw, used to tremble, sweat, feel like I was going to pass out. All this at the most important time in my career when both my line manager and the plant management was being changed. I used to do my utmost to control my breathing and the symptoms. I even gave a presentation once while having a crazy anxiety attack, I had to support my jaw to be able to form the words, I kept fighting it until the end, and I somehow got through it. I have to say that propranolol did help a great deal. It only started working when I got to 80 mg before meetings, though.
The anxiety started subsiding when I made some changes to my lifestyle and my habits: almost no caffeine (this includes black and green tea), almost no chocolate, diet very rich in nutrients and protein, multivitamin daily, fish oil, enough sleep, exercise daily or every other day (it really helps spend all that adrenaline rushing through you! especially running), meditating (I am very serious here, honestly, you could introduce all the other changes, but if you skip this, you may not calm down as quickly), especially mindful meditation (I downloaded Jack Kornfield's "Meditation for Beginners" and am very impressed with the results) - just set aside half an hour to an hour until you feel a difference. I drank lots of herbal tea, for example Yogi's "Calming Tea". Some people swear by Charles Linden (he beat anxiety and developed a technique called the Linden Method - check it out on Facebook) but I personally prefer The Calm Clinic's course. When you are suffering with anxiety, it is likely that you feel overwhelmed and you time-management may have come down a notch or two.. if this is the case, make sure you give work 100%, move all tasks where you may be struggling with, out of the way (Brian Tracy's recordings and videos are absolutely superb to motivate you and help you focus on what you can change - "Miracle of Self Discipline" is sooo good), and do not let anything else add to the anxiety, just make a point of leaving work relaxed and give yourself more hours in the day to pick up things/hobbies which you may have let slip recently. Does your job have health insurance? My employer offers health insurance as well as employee assistance through a third party. It took me a while but I finally admitted the problem is not going away, and sought help. CBT therapists (cognitive behavioural therapy) work with you on finding the root cause of the anxiety and helping you develop different thought patterns and behaviours. It is definitely worth a try. Bottom-line is, you have to stop it taking control of your life, in a smart way, sticking to things which work for you, which build up your self-esteem and sense of security. All those changes definitely worked for me. The reason I say it is because once I stopped applying them (something happened which took my focus away, won't go into details), it took a while but I am definitely seeing a deterioration! I am going back to all those things which worked..reading your message and reflecting on this made me realise how absolutely important this is...
Hope this helps. Have you found anything working for you? What dosage of Propranolol are you taking, how long before a stressful situation?
All the best
x

[Buttercup]

I also take propranolol (80mg slow realease a day) and it works really well for me. I am hoping to eventually just take it before stressful situations but at the moment the daily dose along with taking 40mg of citalopram and attending therapy has worked wonders. Like white_dahlia I've also made some lifestyle changes and am taking vitamin supplements. A few months ago before starting the beta blockers and seeing a therapist I was a mess- I couldn't step out my front door with out panic setting in and I lived in fear of having a panic attack. I had been anxiety free for years and then had a major setback but I am back on track now- ready to return to work and am living a fairly normal life. Do you see a therapist or psych? If not I think it would be helpful for you as it would get tp the root of your issues and help you learn coping mechanisms and so on.
Also I can guarantee you are not the only person who hates these activities at the social work events. Not everyone is happy "performing" in front of people. These team building exercises and games etc are usually a load of crap and they stress people out- no wonder you don't want to go. It annoys me when companies make them mandatory. I used to work for a company that had these types of events and I didn't go to any of them, I worked with a bunch of arseholes who I would never hang out with outside of work so the thought of having to spend time with them making a tit out of myself was unbearable (although may have been worth it to see them make fools of themselves). Try to normalise your feelings and see that what they ask of you is unfair and as I said, many will be uncomfortable in situations like that.
B x

[mmtwilridge]

Hi, Joel. I am surprised to see that there are others that suffer from discomfort being the center of attention. I always assumed that I suffered from stage fright, shyness..but am sure after reading here and other sites that I suffer from social anxiety. I'm sorry that I can't offer any advice to you as I am struggling right now...hopefully we can learn here from this good support system. I am a singer..traditional, gospel..and enjoyed a very successful, although short local singing career. I applied for.. and was accepted into a local venue that features local and national singing groups..it is kind of a big deal here. It was amazingly hard for me to get on stage and sing in front of a crowd. I did, though.. and it became easier with time...until I had a panic attack while on stage. My voice became shaky, and you all know the rest. I cut the song short and took my seat with my family completely Mortified! I tried once more, and the same thing happened! Needless to say..I no longer sing publicly. I am so sad to not be doing what I know I have the talent to do. The problem isn't my singing abilities...it is being the center of attention. I'm hoping to implement some of the things that I learn here, and with hard work..sing once more. I am trying to get the courage to get some counseling. Good luck to you. I offer my prayers and support, and hope that things become easier for you. Geri

[alankay]

I would sit down with a doc and review all this. A beta blocker(inderal, 20mg-40mg...you may need as high as 60 mg or so) is what I use for presentations, etc, and it helps a great deal ewth shaking/racing heart/tremor. An ssri would help the panic but that would be needed daily so perhaps a low dose benzo like ativan can be used to minimize your symptoms until you get desensitized to all. That's what I would consider as I've found no other means to "perform" in front of folks. Over time taper down to lower doses on the meds. PM me any time. Alankay

[crystalrose1985]

I honestly had the same thing when it comes to anxiety and sweating and I know how embarrassing it is to feel that way..I take alprazplam and my doc wants me to start a new Med but I'm to scared to...
Anyways I actually found out that botox injections help with sweating so I got them in my underarms and my ins covered it actually....so if the sweating really bothers you talk to your doctor about it!! Good luck, your def not alone!!