I'm trying to fight anxiety and I'm going to need some help!

[melanie0786]

Hi, I'm Melanie, and since I was about ten I've had obsessive thoughts about my parents dying and then later, about getting HIV or herpes (and I've never had unprotected intercourse). At first I thought I was just right, and lately people are really starting to look at me like I'm crazy. Just tonight I had a freakout about "What If I have AIDS" and all my friends just laughed at me. Everytime someone calls me a lot, I assume they're stalking me. It's like little things turn into...uh...really big things. And basically, I need to do something about it.

I've been in therapy since I was seven, and that's over a decade. It works sometimes, but it's a temporary relief. I've been diagnosed basically with ADD and OCD, but it's mild. What do I do?

[jitters]

Welcome to the board. Carry on with the therapy although it sound quite in effective. Try to challenge your thinking. Why whould you have AIDS? Find out about the illness. Would it really be so bad if you did have it? In comparison to constantly worrying about it. Is it a male ringing? perhaps you just have an admirer. we live in a world were the media focuses so hard on the rare negative issues which occur within human relationships, that we sometimes become to scared to enjoy one of the most important and wonderful aspects of living.

The truth is MOST people/men in this world do not have an STD or AIDS, they are not rapists or stalkers, they are good people looking for that special someone. Try not to worry (says the anxiety sufferer.) about these things. If you find yourself worrying about somthing challenge those thoughts, why do I think this, is it real. Remember you are not living in a T.V. Drama, life is not always so bad.

I hope you feel happier and less worried soon. Anything you need to know just ask. Smile.

Duncan :D

[Kitkat1962]

I know what you are going through as I have had obsessive thoughts about what would happen if my parents died and how would I cope and I'm 44 years old. I don't usually talk about my mental health to the rest of my family much and my mom and dad are more knowledged about it. I always thought that if I lost them would I have a sudden relapse and go into a severe mental collapse. I sometimes still think about it but my parents always tell me that I will be taken care of and I'm single still.


If you are so worried about HIV and other sex diseases and you have had sex in your life maybe you should do all the test to make sure and it would give you a peace of mind to know for sure. If you are healthy and don't have them I would think carefully about your sexual life as its not worth putting yourself at risk.

I did sex when I was 20 but luckily I didn't get pregnant or any diseases but I did catch mono and I don't know if the guy I kissed had it or not but I did tell my doctor I had sex and he insisted on a pregnancy test which scared the hell out of me. I did find out though that I got a bacterial infection from the sexual experience as the bacteria passed through the condom so that was shock enough but I got it cleared up and I don't do sex now until I get married. I'd rather be safe than sorry.

If you are worried about your parents dying than you have to tell yourself that right now they are fine and healthy and still here. Don't worry about the future as it hasn't happened yet. You can't worry about something that hasn't occurred in your life yet. Think of right now....the present.

Keep up with the therapy as it does help and they can teach you how to change your thoughts to be more positive. I know its struggling as I still go through it sometimes especially when my parents go away on a trip. I just tell myself that they are fine.

[melanie0786]

Thanks a lot for your replies, both of you. Today I tried forcing thoughts out of my head. I had a really scary anxiety trip last night, let me explain:

The boy I lost my virginity to had been a virgin just like me. But then he started dating another girl who was in my dorm and they have since broken up and I haven't seen him in ages. But she's been sick lately and I assumed it was AIDS, which made me think he had it and gave it to me, even though in the course of our relationship, he never "finished", not even once...(dont ask...)

I was thinking about asking everyone if I should be worried, but I realized that it was probably better for me to force the thoughts out of my head (and reassuring myself that I never even came into contact with semen).

[jitters]

Although whether he finished makes little diferance because men often semi ejaculate prior to orgasm. Jumping to the conclusion that this girl has AIDS of all the possible illnesses is a bit of leap. You dont live in africa. There are other STDs but their are many other illnesses which you could catch which are much worse and do not require exchange of bodily fluids to spread. Ask yourself if you dont worry about these why do you worry about AIDS specifically.

Duncan

P.S. Sounds like this guy has issues too, not once wierd.

[The Girl]

Some of the things that i have found to be the most helpful for the persistent thoughts that plague all of us from time to time are...say to your self...it is just a thought....either label it (without being negative) by saying to yourself.. well that was an anxiety/depressive/obsessive (or any other descriptive word you know) thought, i will just let that thought go for now...or simply just accept the thought, no matter how bad, obsessive or weird you think it is just accept it. Our thoughts are just that....thoughts...they do not define who we are. Every time the thought comes back just keep doing this over and over, no matter how many times you need to!!! this is the advice that i have gotten from a great deal of reading! i hope this helps!