Help (possible trigger WARNING)

[Velrose]

For the last couple of days, I keep having the most horrifying thoughts of hurting my family. My 9 yr old daughter mostly. It makes me sick to my stomach and I'm in tears. I can't handle this. I would never in a million years do anything to hurt anyone! Why won't these thoughts go away? I just keep thinking... "what if I snap? What if I go crazy like people on the news and I hurt someone I dearly love?"

I'm so ill. I can't do this....

Logic keeps telling me it's just fear... it's just anxiety but why does it have to be such horrible thoughts? I love my daughter... I love my family... why does it have to be this? I'm so scared!

[Buttercup]

Hi Velrose, are you on meds at the moment or in therapy?
You are right that it's fear but fear can be so hard to handle and logic and rationality tends to go out the window during times like this. Remember that despite having these thoughts you also know that you would never hurt them. Why do you think you would snap? Have you ever been around someone that has been like that and hurt someone? It's important to realise as well that these are just thoughts and not actions. What is it you think that would send you over the edge?
It sounds like you are going through a really hard time and that professional help to counteract these thoughts and worries is needed. Do you have someone you could call to talk this over with? Or if you do have a therapist or doctor you could call/see?
B x

[alankay]

Vel, yep that's anxiety. Have you had any treatment/therapy? This type of fearful repetitive thinking is not unusual with anxiety. You will never do what you fear and cringe over. I can tell you that you're not alone and it helps to recognize this as just a symptom of anxiety that feeds on itself. I would consider a trial of an ssri. Alankay

[Velrose]

I started zoloft yesterday and this Wednesday i'm going to speak with a anxiety therapist...I'm scared to tell her about this though...I don't want anyone to think I can't handle taking care of my daughter. I'm trying to get help! I don't need added pressure....


Buttercup-- That's just it. I haven't. I think all of my family stress recently (husband is losing his job) as well as all of the horror stories in the news have my mind going a million miles a minute. I just start thinking, what makes someone do something so horrible!

[larmer]

Hello velrose, I had really bad thought like were having they were like that. By my counselor told me they are only thoughts they are not going to harm you, any time a bad thought comes into your head let it don't fight it just tell your self it only a thought we all have bad thought. don't worry. email me if u want to talk

[Velrose]

Guys--thank you all so much. I hate these freaky thoughts...and tonight I'm feeling much better. I was able to go out with my family and eat some dinner too (which helped tremendously!) It's good to know I'm not the only one who has had such frightening fears!

I talked with my nurse today about my therapist, and I really look forward to meeting her. She seems like she is going to be far more intensive than the last counselor I saw a few years ago. I was warned of homework! :D Ya know what, I'd do anything to be rid of this anxiety.

I've been using some of the tips everyone's tossed my way too, about just "watching" the thoughts and fears slide by. It's not easy, but it's helped me out with curbing some of my panic.