Death anxiety

[sutralotus]

Is there anyone else he that struggles with a fear of death. Death of yourself and others around u? I've been struggling with this on such a bad level. It's taking everything out of my life. I don't have a thirst to do anything cuz I feel like what's the point. I feel depressed over it and terrified too. I'm wondering if anyone has any techniques or methods to deal with this. Please I need help

[hopeNfaith88]

How old are you?

[dazza]

Yepppp, I can relate to that.
I've been through stages where I've pondered on the same.

During our earlier years we tend to not give a hoot and take everything for granted.
Now I'm getting on a bit (41), I realise I'm not immortal... and death is very real.

I watch my parents getting old and it breaks my heart. I can now possibly count their number of years left on both my hands.
This is a devastating thought.

It also depresses me somewhat to look at photo's of people when they were young and compare them to now.
I wonder... how did such a beautiful looking person turn into such a haggered, crinkled up old beast? It all seems rather cruel.

[sylvina]

Agree with dazza, wen ur young u dont think about it at all, u do take things for granted coz u think u have tons ov time left, im 31 in a few weeks and defiantly as im getting older i dwell on it more , at one one point even more so with the rumour about the world ending in december , now i have a better attitude by thinking postive and dont waste anytime at all , wen i dwelled on it , it depressed the hell out ov me

[sutralotus]

I'm in my late twenties. I don't wanna think about it or anything. How did u guys cope?

[Buttercup]

I find that during periods of anxiety these thoughts do pop into my head and can be really disturbing. But over the years I seem to have been able to accept that death is a part of life. We will all die, maybe today, maybe next week, maybe in 50 years- it's the uncertainty of it that is unnerving but it's also one of the only thing all us human's have in common. We don't know how it will happen, when it will be or what lies ahead after it. For some reason I found it helpful to think about it in a philisophical sort of way and have had some great debates with friends about death (sounds morbid but once you can openly talk about it I feel it's weight off your mind). I try to think along the lines of- who knows what's ahead so I'll try and make the best out of what i have and life my life to the full (although that is sooooooo much easier said than done when you suffer from anxiety and/or depression). Sometimes cheesy movie quotes help- "carpe diem- seize the day", "get busy living or get busy dying" blah blah blah but they do all point to the same thing- life is too short for such worries so make the most of it while you still can. people die, people grieve, life goes on- life is scary and pretty shit sometimes but we should try count our blessings, be thankful for what we do have and go kick anxiety in the arse :-)

[IloveGod]

Is there anyone else he that struggles with a fear of death. Death of yourself and others around u? I've been struggling with this on such a bad level. It's taking everything out of my life. I don't have a thirst to do anything cuz I feel like what's the point. I feel depressed over it and terrified too. I'm wondering if anyone has any techniques or methods to deal with this. Please I need help

I have this fear everyday, along with getting deathly sick. It worries me because nobody knows when they will die and how they will. But, what helps me is knowing that not a person on earth can escape it.

[jessie80]

I have this fear. I am terrified of going to the doctor for fear they will tell me I have cancer. It sux :/ I pray I will get over this one day, and that it be replaced with peace and joy for life! Wish you the same xoxo

[bhamlaxy]

This is a deep philosophical question that will take time to overcome.

First, you need to realize EVERYONE is afraid of death. Every living thing. It's why we have evolved to where we are now- If we didn't fear death we wouldn't last too long. This fear is natural, but when it becomes overwhelming and consuming that's when it's unhealthy.

I guess there are a few things you can do to pivot from fear. We are all going to die, and we won't live forever. So what would you rather do with your valuable time? Curl up in a ball of fear? Or live life to the fullest?

Use the fact that you are mortal to appreciate every little thing, to live your life in the best possible way you can. Don't let fear of it ending stop you from enjoying it. Imagine if you didn't enjoy a concert you were at, obsessing the whole time about how sad you were that it was ending? Or didn't enjoy a movie because it would end? Or anything else that ends?

The absolute worst thing in the world would have to be when you are on the brink of death, and think back on a life of fear that kept you from doing anything.

I also fully believe that as you get older, you become less afraid of death. Whether it be having kids, working a fulfilling career, or just enjoying things, you get fulfillment that makes death less scary. I asked my 83 year old grandma, who has had strokes and bad falls, if she is afraid of death, and without a second of hesitation in her voice she firmly said "No. I could not have lived a more happy and fulfilling life."

[Amy1986]

This is something I'm sure every anxiety/panic sufferer can relate too. I used to be terrified of death, every ache and pain obviously meant I was going to peg it. At my worst I suffered from agoraphobia as I was literally convinced the sky would fall or I would be murdered etc. I started doing therapy which uses pressure point techniques to rewire your brain. So now I think if I die, I die. I wont know much about it when it happens, and really if anything the fear has forced me to try and enjoy every moment. I certainly don't want to die but feel better in the knowledge that I at least lived my life to the best I can.

[Confined.in.our.minds.]

When the thought of death pops in your brain, whether it be due to a movie or a bad dream etc, don't let it become a deep thought, just allow it to be a thought wandering around your mind, because we all know once that thought pops into our head we automatically start to dwell on those thoughts. What you need to do is manually stop thinking any further into it. We can have the death thought lingering around our minds somewhere, it will keep at you trying to get you to think about it on a deeper level but don't allow it. Because let me assume for a moment that you are similar to me once you dwell you will be hysterically crying, you will feel so depressed that you even might start thinking suicidal.. Now if you can stop these thoughts from getting to that point then you must do it, and I know you can stop it otherwise 24/7 everyday of your life you would be crying your eyes out. It's obvious that this is a scary thought for you because it is bound to happen, you can't change death, but with a bit of help in the right direction you will be able to change the way you think about death, you will learn to deal with it when it happens.. You think you won't be able to cope but you will cope, the worrying about the thoughts of death will have worked out to be more painfull then when the death actually happens. Try and enjoy your life, and remember out of every negative experiences comes a positive :). Think of it as a journey for the strengthening of your mind and soul, face certain fears of yours things you believe you cannot do and you will find that your spirit is much stronger than you think.

Ah it's so much easier to give advice than to take it :) goodluck x

[dazza]

Ever stop, look at the people around you & think... "in a few decades time none of you will be here"?

I see old people struggling to cross the road or just walk a few yards and I think... "I can't believe you were young & beautiful once. What the hell happened to you?"

Life is short. I find this hard to get my head round sometimes.

I sometimes see people as pointless, too. Like when I see people doing the same things every day (e.g. pass my house on the way to the shop to get a paper).
The same thing... EVERY DAY, without fail.
I think... "what a pointless, repetitive existence you have"

It seems that; we're born --> we're pointless --> we die

This is actually the truth, but the upbeat amongst us will argue that the bit in the middle is not pointless, and that you should make the most of it.

Yes, we make the most of it... but it is still pointless really.

LOL

[laurandisorder]

I find it comforting to think of the people that I have lost in my life, young and old - I like to think that they will be waiting for me in the other side.

My whole attitude to death is kind of skewed - I have lost 3 close friends under 35 in the past 5 years, so I try to embrace it. After I lost my second friend to heart transplant complications I thought that would be it - that I would be an old lady before I lose anyone else near or dear to me. Less than two years later, one of my BEST friends passed away suddenly of a heart attack aged 29. Leaving his 28 year old soulmate and wife a widow. This has severely impacted my existence. I believe that If I am going to die young, or unexpectedly then so be it. The pain the suffering and the anxiety will end if I die.

In the words of the ever-awesome Buffy the Vampire Slayer - the hardest thing to do in this world is LIVE in it. Death is a certainty, but it is nothing to fear.

[Buttercup]

Lol Laura, a fellow buffy addict :) Several years ago when I was going through a bad patch I spent a lot of time in-doors. I watched all the buffy and angel box sets- really took my mind of things!

[CarJim75]

I have the same fear. I'm constantly worrying about it and the thought consumes me a part of the day. My biggest fear is that I will not awake from my sleep. I now know it's the reason why my anxiety hits me the most at night. I'm having a hard time dealing with this!

[hopeNfaith88]

Ever stop, look at the people around you & think... "in a few decades time none of you will be here"?

I see old people struggling to cross the road or just walk a few yards and I think... "I can't believe you were young & beautiful once. What the hell happened to you?"

Life is short. I find this hard to get my head round sometimes.

I sometimes see people as pointless, too. Like when I see people doing the same things every day (e.g. pass my house on the way to the shop to get a paper).
The same thing... EVERY DAY, without fail.
I think... "what a pointless, repetitive existence you have"

It seems that; we're born --> we're pointless --> we die

This is actually the truth, but the upbeat amongst us will argue that the bit in the middle is not pointless, and that you should make the most of it.

Yes, we make the most of it... but it is still pointless really.

LOL

Youre an asshole
Ps life has meaning for every one of us. Just have to find it.

[dazza]

Youre an asshole
Ps life has meaning for every one of us. Just have to find it.

Assholes' are useful! (you'd be in a pretty bad way without one)

Why do you say that anyway?

They're my thoughts... I'm not harming anyone so how can you call me an a-hole?

[hopeNfaith88]

Assholes' are useful! (you'd be in a pretty bad way without one)

Why do you say that anyway?

They're my thoughts... I'm not harming anyone so how can you call me an a-hole?

Thats fine but those kind of thoughts arent useful here.