angelvsdevil
06-08-2012, 12:25 AM
Hey guys,
I'm AvD. I'm from Brisbane in Australia and I am 22 years of age (female). I am about 6 weeks away from graduating from an undergraduate psychology degree (heaps exciting but also scary!). So this obviously means I know a lot about the "psychological" facts about anxiety - but sometimes that can be a huge problem lol.
A bit about my "history". I started getting anxiety/depressive symptoms when I was about 15. I was (still am) a massive perfectionist and I felt as though nothing I did was good enough. I went to see my school counsellor and as I was self-harming at the time, my parents were told. That was the start of my massive adventure through various psychologists, psychiatrists, counsellors etc. I started my first antidepressant when I was 16 and since then have been on 4 different ones. It took me a LONG time to find a health professional who I "clicked" with. I have now been seeing the same psychiatrist for the past 3 years - he is great.
Three years ago, he put me on cymbalta. I found it to help a fair bit, but I was still getting a fair few depressive breakthrough symptoms. So I decided that I wanted to come off medication completely earlier this year. He reluctantly agreed to support me through it and has always said that he believes I probably will need to go back on medication at some point. So 26 January 2012, I started withdrawing from cymbalta. It was a VERY long process and a very challenging process and from reading other peoples stories online, it appears this is quite a common reaction to withdrawing from cymbalta. I am still to this day off medication.
Moodwise, since coming off the cymbalta, my depressive levels have decreased but unfortunately my anxiety has increased dramatically. Last appointment (a couple of weeks ago) my psychiatrist said that if I presented to him now as a new patient he wouldn't diagnose me with major depressive disorder - more so dysthymia, but he does think my anxiety is becoming more a problem. And he wonders if either the cymbalta masked the anxiety (but not the depression) or if it's really been anxiety all along...
My major anxiety problems at the moment are mainly worrying about anything and everything. With exams coming up, I'm quite stressed and this means that everything feels quite "muddled" and I just get so anxious. I was talking to my phone counsellor (free service in Aust, which has been a great service to me over the last 7 years) and he thinks I show some OCD tendencies with my thinking. I obsess that my brain is going to get "too full" and this means I'm going to forget something in my exams. I also can't study for more than one thing at a time because I'll forget the first thing. Eating is also a problem for me at the moment - but that's a LONG story.
Social anxiety has always been a problem on and off for me but with the depression lifting, I have found it a bit easier (as long as there are people I know there!).
Sleep has been the massive problem for me lately - when I go to bed at night, I worry about anything and everything. I try to think of happy things and focus on them, but I am always able to twist it so it becomes negative. I've tried relaxing music, breathing exercises etc. But nothing works. Psychiatrist has now stuck me on sleeping meds but I hate them and don't want to take them (I unfortunately am making myself take them though because I have to study). I also get anxious before going to bed now because I think I'm going to have trouble sleeping! It's such an awful cycle!
I have a busy 6 weeks coming up... I'm going to be away from home for 4 weeks (on and off) which stresses me because it means I'm away from my support network. :( But I'm trying to remember that I have fun things planned for that time. My psychiatrist wants to work on my sleep and anxiety but with me going away, it's hard to do anything.
I do have slight hope that once I finish exams, my anxiety levels will decrease and I will be able to sleep without sleeping tablets. I never realized how important sleep is!!
Anyway, look forward to "meeting" you all.
And if you have any suggestions on any of the stuff I've mentioned, I'd love to hear it!
AvD.
I'm AvD. I'm from Brisbane in Australia and I am 22 years of age (female). I am about 6 weeks away from graduating from an undergraduate psychology degree (heaps exciting but also scary!). So this obviously means I know a lot about the "psychological" facts about anxiety - but sometimes that can be a huge problem lol.
A bit about my "history". I started getting anxiety/depressive symptoms when I was about 15. I was (still am) a massive perfectionist and I felt as though nothing I did was good enough. I went to see my school counsellor and as I was self-harming at the time, my parents were told. That was the start of my massive adventure through various psychologists, psychiatrists, counsellors etc. I started my first antidepressant when I was 16 and since then have been on 4 different ones. It took me a LONG time to find a health professional who I "clicked" with. I have now been seeing the same psychiatrist for the past 3 years - he is great.
Three years ago, he put me on cymbalta. I found it to help a fair bit, but I was still getting a fair few depressive breakthrough symptoms. So I decided that I wanted to come off medication completely earlier this year. He reluctantly agreed to support me through it and has always said that he believes I probably will need to go back on medication at some point. So 26 January 2012, I started withdrawing from cymbalta. It was a VERY long process and a very challenging process and from reading other peoples stories online, it appears this is quite a common reaction to withdrawing from cymbalta. I am still to this day off medication.
Moodwise, since coming off the cymbalta, my depressive levels have decreased but unfortunately my anxiety has increased dramatically. Last appointment (a couple of weeks ago) my psychiatrist said that if I presented to him now as a new patient he wouldn't diagnose me with major depressive disorder - more so dysthymia, but he does think my anxiety is becoming more a problem. And he wonders if either the cymbalta masked the anxiety (but not the depression) or if it's really been anxiety all along...
My major anxiety problems at the moment are mainly worrying about anything and everything. With exams coming up, I'm quite stressed and this means that everything feels quite "muddled" and I just get so anxious. I was talking to my phone counsellor (free service in Aust, which has been a great service to me over the last 7 years) and he thinks I show some OCD tendencies with my thinking. I obsess that my brain is going to get "too full" and this means I'm going to forget something in my exams. I also can't study for more than one thing at a time because I'll forget the first thing. Eating is also a problem for me at the moment - but that's a LONG story.
Social anxiety has always been a problem on and off for me but with the depression lifting, I have found it a bit easier (as long as there are people I know there!).
Sleep has been the massive problem for me lately - when I go to bed at night, I worry about anything and everything. I try to think of happy things and focus on them, but I am always able to twist it so it becomes negative. I've tried relaxing music, breathing exercises etc. But nothing works. Psychiatrist has now stuck me on sleeping meds but I hate them and don't want to take them (I unfortunately am making myself take them though because I have to study). I also get anxious before going to bed now because I think I'm going to have trouble sleeping! It's such an awful cycle!
I have a busy 6 weeks coming up... I'm going to be away from home for 4 weeks (on and off) which stresses me because it means I'm away from my support network. :( But I'm trying to remember that I have fun things planned for that time. My psychiatrist wants to work on my sleep and anxiety but with me going away, it's hard to do anything.
I do have slight hope that once I finish exams, my anxiety levels will decrease and I will be able to sleep without sleeping tablets. I never realized how important sleep is!!
Anyway, look forward to "meeting" you all.
And if you have any suggestions on any of the stuff I've mentioned, I'd love to hear it!
AvD.