abcd123
06-07-2012, 04:42 AM
Hi all I'm Elizabeth and I'm 25 years old. I have decided to join up on here to hopefully learn I'm not on my own here. I am a mum of two and have an amazing fiancé. I have suffered with anxiety/depression/anger/PTSD since I was 13yo. To cut a very long story short..My sister and I were groomed over several years by a next door neighbour whom we looked at like a grandad (we had known him all our lives) I managed to escape it however my sister was abused at the age of 10. I was 12 at the time. It all came out several months later after my mum noticed my behaviour was odd. We went through several years of being followed by him on way home from school and were constantly watched by him standing in his window etc. We finally moved when I was 18 and when I was 20 it went to court as four seperate girls came forward. I have always had severe anger about this from 13 onwards and never known why. Iv never dealt with relationships well, I have major trust issues and believe that if I get into arguments with my fiancé he's going to stab me etc. I know in my rational mind he wouldnt harm me but the thought never goes.The past few years this anxiety has become overbearing and I'm now starting counselling. I want this to end I can't live my life anymore like it as I destroy relationships and I feel that no one understands.i end up pushing people away sO I don't have to face things. I'm sorry if this post has been a bit much to some but I have come on here to learn more and to help me deal with what's going on with me. At the minute I want to give counselling up as it's getting hard (I have learnt to block things out) but I am perservering for my daughters and my husband to be. I'm going through a very hard time at present just want to know I'm not alone.