Tired of fighting this.

[CKR]

I am so mentally tired of fighting this. I don't leave the house much anymore. When I do leave the house I have to be escorted. I always sit in the car and never go in because I'm too scared. I can't be alone for more than 10 minutes no matter where I am or what I'm doing. Even if I am at home. I am just drained. This anxiety is killing me. I don't really have any friends. Because I seem to push everyone away. I am so lonely.

[dazza]

Can I ask... are you trying to help yourself at all?

Either with medication, therapy or anything else?

[CKR]

I am terrified of medicine if my panic attacks get to an extreme point I will take one. I mean like extreme, the panic attacks where your crawling on the floor gasping for air thinking your seconds from passing out. Which doesn't happen that often thank god. But other than that it's just general anxiety all day long. I have been to a therapist. They didn't seem to help. Tried exposure therapy. I am kinda lost over here what to try next.

[dazza]

Howdy

It sounds like hell on earth for you. You've got several issues going on there and I imagine they feed eachother in various ways.

You need professional, mental help.

I imagine there's a reason(s) why you are how you are? Something(s) that's happened in the past that's caused all this?

Do you have family to turn to? who helps you on a day-to-day basis?

Have you always suffered with social issues? (like at school)... always been an outcast?

Your case is probably far too complicated for anyone here to deal with, but in essence you've got to learn to say F*CK IT - and just get on with it.

What's the worst that can happen if you go outside eh? have you asked yourself this? (and did you conclude an answer?)

The thing is bud, you're ruining your own life - big time. There's a world out there for you (yeah... some of it sucks but so what), and you need to just smack yourself around the face, repeat F*CK IT over and over and just dive in.

Nothing bad is gonna happen to you. Just do it. Go for it. Try it and see?

Go for a walk. Just a little walk. Breathe the air. Check out the sky/clouds/sun and the houses + people around you. People going about their daily business... like you should be doing.

Two options:

1/ Stay as you are
2/ Learn the F*CK IT technique and get your sorry ass out the house

Which do you want?

[PanicCured]

Stop fighting. Give up. Say Fuck it and get on with your life. You're in control. Retrain your brain. Just go out and be scared. Keep pushing yourself to be "normal" and soon you will be. You're not going to die. Just face your fears. It's bullshit!

[bea38]

Can I mk a suggestion? I think that the reason u are finding the therapy is not working is because u aren't in the right place to be doing it and what I found from experience is that I had to have the meds to get to to the right place for the therapy to work. I was the same as u, didn't go out of the house for Mnths and cried when I was left alone as I felt something awful was going to happen. U can get better. I do still have anxiety but I go out now and I've learnt how to cope with it through my therapy so it kinda takes the sting out of it all :) good luck x

[aquamarinearies]

Fighting just makes it worse, let it be. Let your anxiety get to you and it'll go away knowing its not harmful.

[PanicCured]

I went to therapy too, and I don't think you need to find the root of your problem from a psychological standpoint to get rid of anxiety. I can tell you what it is:

Some type of stress crashed your nervous system and now you go into fight or flight mode at the drop of a hat, and you are overly worried and neurotic. You are constantly searching for why you feel this way and why you can't be normal like everyone else and you wonder if you will ever be better. You think you may go insane and you may have some crazy disease the doctor's have not been able to find but you will find it. You check your pulse regularly and feel you can't breathe in enough air. When you're alone you feel like you will die and nobody will find you and when you are with people or crowds you freak out too. You need to be in your safe place and with your safe people. Outside of those you feel very very nervous.

There you go. Please send me $125 for my evaluation.

Now read the stickies at the top of the forum and get on the healing path, move forward, push yourself to get past this and don't look back!

I'll see you on the other side and I'll buy you a beer.

[amberhs27]

I didn't go to a therapist either. I started taking celexa an prayed for guidance and strength to push through. I haven't had to take an Ativan in 3 weeks except a half. I posted anxiety delt with u should read it.