Worried about my relationship

[Alexvega]

Hey! I'm Alexandra (Alex) and I am new to this forum! I'm really hoping joining this forum and talking to people with similar problems will help me.

I have dealt with anxiety/insecurity issues for as far back as I can remember. Mainly these issues are starting to take a negative toll on my relationship. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and we have been very happy until my anxiety started getting progressively worse and changing not only me but him a little also. I get worried whenever I leave him for a little bit and the lack of space is not good, and I know this, but it is very hard to be away from him. I know gradually we need to give each other more space and time so we can actually get the opportunity to miss each other but adjusting to this change is proving to be one of the worst things I've had to deal with as far as anxiety goes. Hopefully someone here can relate to this and help me along this path because my boyfriend and I both agree we will get all the help that we need to get through this!

Looking forward to meeting people on here! :)

[Alexvega]

Also, maybe someone can lead me to a thread where it deals with this more (if one exists) or help me create one!

;

[aquamarinearies]

Oh I have the same problems! Anxiety is turning my relationship into me being insecure, jealous and these are things I have never wanted to be! Anxiety changes lives.. But there's always a positive to every negative. I believe it's turning me into a stronger person and lover..:)

[aquamarinearies]

And I'm trying so hard to not be so jealous! I don't know why I feel so insecure but if you are with the right person they will stay with you through everything.

[Alexvega]

Yeah, lately I've been very insecure also. I feel that I am definitely with the right person because he is still there and willing to make it work. I'm just hoping he doesn't get tired of it.
I've been getting better the past few weeks and it has been great. I've just been trying to focus more on myself and it's helping a lot. I found that I was focusing on time WITHOUT him vs. time WITH him. Every time I think about going back to enjoying time with him, rather than worrying about time without him, I feel so much better.

[brittany09]

Hi Alex, I can relate to this 100% when my anxiety is worse than usual. I also am in a relationship of almost 3 years. Many times I've packed up my stuff and stayed at my parents just because I was so anxious I wanted to be alone. The good thing it's rare people will help their bf/gf with a disorder for so long and then just quit. 3 years is a long time and I bet your boyfriend loves you. If he is the right guy,he will always be there for you. Anxiety isn't a bad personality trait,it's a medical condition. If you are doing all you can do to help yourself feel better,that's enough. Don't make yourself feel bad because you need a little extra help. Make sure he understands what anxiety is,what specifically he can do to make you feel better,and that your sometimes feeling more insecure then usual because of it. Rough times make a good relationship stronger :)

[ova'it]

I hear ya on this. When i first met my bloke i would at a drop of a hat pack my stuff up and leave. I did thus for four yrs not knowing it was flight mode of anxiety. My bloke always waited in the back ground for me to return. After four yrs thought he had had enuf and wrote me a letter stating how he felt. This made me stop and relise i was taking him and his support for granted. I made the devision to go back and commit to the relationship and have never once packed up. That was 22 yrs ago and we r still going strong although i dont pack up my things nowdays i can be one stroppy cow. Poor bugger

[Jayenygma1]

Hey wassup everybody? My name is Jay and I'm pretty new to the forum. I'm 24 and my anxiety sprang up for the first time only 3 months ago and has been on and off since then. I'm extremely anxious about my relationship. My girlfriend is an au pair (look it up if u dunno what it is lol) and she is white and from south africa. She came to america only for a year but ended up falling in love with me and stayed in this country for me. We fought through a ridiculous amount of difficulties for us to stay together including the fact that her parents don't approve of interracial couples (I'm black and in south africa racism is still very high).....I worry because she left her life behind to be with me and we're planning to get married probably by next year but I don't make much money right now and I see so many other people's relationships crumbling around me :-( ......I'm so scared that can be us one day and she will resent me and feel like she stayed here for nothing. But she's my other half and she FEEDS off of my emotion...in other words if she sees that I'M nervous or afraid, it will cause HER to feel the same and most likely give her doubts so I'm struggling to act normal in front of her. But she's beginning to pick up on some of it