Jacinta McKie
06-01-2012, 06:50 AM
If the world was at war, or people I loved died, or I got sick etc I would be devastated, but I am so much more afraid of feeling fearful then I am afraid of feeling sad.
I often have dreams where a terrifying event occurs and I can't do anything to stop it because my body gets paralyzed with fear.
I often contemplate in my mind what I will do when I am faced with an event so terrible that coping will be completely out of the question and the only conclusion I can come up with is suicide. I spend most of my free-time thinking of quick and easy ways to suicide.
Eg: if I'm driving and i get a phonecall that a close loved one has died what will I do if a friend or child is in my car, will I drop them at the side of the road then drive straight into a pole, or would I need to drop by the liquor store and get completely wasted first? I know it's bizarre to think like this but I feel like I need to have a plan in place because when something bad happens to me I know I won't actually be able to cope I will scream and vomit and have a heart attack and collapse and everything in the world I would never ever want to experience those emotions.
What I would like to know I guess is, when something bad happens to someone with anxiety is it as bad as we think it will be or is it fixable?
Eg: if a person with bad anxiety gets diagnosed with a serious illness would they take the news 10000 billion times harder than a person who doesn't have anxiety?
I often have dreams where a terrifying event occurs and I can't do anything to stop it because my body gets paralyzed with fear.
I often contemplate in my mind what I will do when I am faced with an event so terrible that coping will be completely out of the question and the only conclusion I can come up with is suicide. I spend most of my free-time thinking of quick and easy ways to suicide.
Eg: if I'm driving and i get a phonecall that a close loved one has died what will I do if a friend or child is in my car, will I drop them at the side of the road then drive straight into a pole, or would I need to drop by the liquor store and get completely wasted first? I know it's bizarre to think like this but I feel like I need to have a plan in place because when something bad happens to me I know I won't actually be able to cope I will scream and vomit and have a heart attack and collapse and everything in the world I would never ever want to experience those emotions.
What I would like to know I guess is, when something bad happens to someone with anxiety is it as bad as we think it will be or is it fixable?
Eg: if a person with bad anxiety gets diagnosed with a serious illness would they take the news 10000 billion times harder than a person who doesn't have anxiety?