Breaking The Cycle

[Blair Malcolm]

I've been doing the same activity for last 12 years. At the beginning I hardly had any anxiety towards it. I believe this is because I had much bigger ongoing problems and that this activity was a release for me. However, as the years went by I no longer had to face my main anxiety trigger and it seems to have jumped onto this.

Over the years my anxiety is getting worse and worse. It's the social aspect of the activity I'm afraid of. I had a few unpleasant experiences with a few people and it sent my anxiety over the edge, even though in my logical mind I know it was nothing that bad. When I know I'll be going to this place I will start having anxiety about it days before. The day I know I'm going, I will get IBS, shortness of breath, tingling fingers, adrenaline rushes etc...

I've tried going 5X a week instead of once, and I tried that a whole year and it didn't help. I'm on meds and have done yrs of therapy. I stopped doing this activity last fall because I just couldn't take it anymore. I miss it like crazy, and obviously I like the activity enough to battle with this all these years. Now I'm sad and kind of depressed that I can't face going anymore.

Please, if anyone has any tips how to help me get through this so I can enjoy what I once loved to do again, it would mean the world to me.