Racing thoughts and worries.

[Jacinta McKie]

Hi all.
My names Jacinta and I'm 20yrs old, I should be out having fun but my worries have stopped me from doing anything enjoyable. All I do is sit here and wonder what is fucking wrong with me.
I'm constantly worried, depressed have my thoughts are literally racing and jumping all over the joint I can see planes crashing, elephants running, numbers and letter flying at me hitting me in the face, worries shooting out at me but all so quick I don't even have time to think about them. My mind right now is a ticking time bomb i feel like I'm about to explode.., my thoughts aren't always this racy maybe just once a week, usually I can stop this from happening but when I'm forced to think or do more than one thing at I time I go fucking nuts and it doesn't stop until I pass out.
When my thoughts aren't racing I am constantly dwelling on certain worries and making myself so fearful that I just want to scream and throw up, my main worry is losing my mum and grandma even though they are healthy,, I can't stop worrying about losing them because I know it is going to happen one day and I'll never be able to stop it,,
I have a plan to kill myself when my mum dies because I feel like I wont be able to breath without her, I had an abortion last year because I thought what happens if my mum dies and I have a child I would kill myself and leave my child motherless.
I'm fuxking losing it, please someone understand xxz

[glassrose777]

I have the same fears and thoughts it's hard. I can't imagine not having my mom around but just know that she wouldn't want you to take your own life just because of her. it's not worth it. It's of course something scary that we have no control over but what happens after that you do have control. Try not to think about it. I know it's hard trust me but you can't keep going on like this. Medication does help if youre not on it already. Don't give up. There is a silver lining you just may have to dig a little deeper.

[l1n7]

Don't kill yourself :(
I worry about my mom dying too. You want to know what helps me when my mind races? I play a game (either on my iPod touch or in the computer or on the wii)! I play a very hard game to get my mind off of the thoughts. I get so caught up in the game I forget about my worries.
Just a recommendation, one of the games I play in my iPod that helps is Tetris.
Good luck <3

[anxiousmess]

i have to agree with the games. puzzle games are best as you need to fully concentrate on what you are doing. tetris and bejeweled are very soothing too!

[Jacinta McKie]

Thank you so much everyone you are the only people who haven't told me I'm being silly and that actually understand, I might consider taking medication. Goodluck for all of you in helping deal with your own anxieties. I certainly will download tetris haha xx