obsessional....meaning?

[anxiousmess]

ok, i can't stop thinking about the community treatment team stating that i am very obsessional.

here's a couple examples of my obsessiveness:

i bought one plant, then ended up with several more. including planting my own.

i bought one thing online, they delivered it, and then i ordered things on a daily basis.

i play call of duty every single night, and have done since modern warefare 4.
in that game though, i have to use the same gun all of the time, i go to the same spots in the game, i play the same game mode every time and i also have to use the same perks all the time too.

i bought one quilt cover, and bought 3 more...then i went on to getting all of my favourite bedding out of my bedding box, and washed them when they were already clean!


what do they mean by obsessional? they kept talking about ocd, but whenever i google ocd, although i fit some symptoms - no one seems to go through what i go through? so it seems it's not ocd? so im highly confused and it's making me obsess over what they meant!!

[anxietykidd]

Lol sounds like you have a some what minor case of OCD to me.. You don't need all the symptoms to have OCD and others don't need the symptoms that you have just like anxiety and panic... It effects everyone different and everyones symptoms though all anxiety.. Are not the same... It's either you have OCD or your just really anal at doing the same things all the time...

[anxiousmess]

i have actually became obsessed with finding out why i am obsessive!
it really doesn't take much for obsessions to start!!

i've came across aspergers. i'm wondering if it could be that!
but then again, that could be my anxiety thing, googling illnesses and thinking i have them.

oh this mental health stuff is all too confusing!!

[laurandisorder]

I don't think you have Aspbergers. I work with a number of kids that do and they are all hard core 'special', in the nicest sense of the word. They stick with their obsessions too - they don't seem to evolve onto others.

I think you have ritualistic traits that self soothe. I am similar, as I have explained before, but my compulsions fall into just two categories: The first is compulsive or binge shopping for instant gratification - which I can even manage food shopping. Tonight I bought three pairs of shoes. I have about 80-100 pairs of shoes and all I needed to do was buy one pair to replace a worn out pair of work shoes. But I couldn't stop at one!!

Secondly, old ED habits that come out - like for example I try to exercise every other day, but sometimes, stupidly, I get REALLY guilty when I don't go out running EVERY day. At the start of this year when I began to exercise after a long break I ran every day - 7.5 km for 21 days in a row. Same route every day, pushing myself to improve, my time and then even when my ankles started to hurt, I kept going. I took a day off here and there and assumed my running shoes to blame (because going from 0 km per week to over 50km per week in a month could not possibly be the cause!). I kept going to the point where I strained BOTH my ankles. I tore up my tendons so badly I couldn't walk without limping for weeks. I couldn't run for almost 6 weeks.

Interestingly enough, I think the forced rest that followed was one of the factors that bought on my most recent bout of panic and anxiety. I get sooooo antsy and guilty when I don't go out running. I look for excuses - like the dog wants to go for a walk. Even tonight I planned to go out even though I walked for an hour with my sister yesterday. My partner talked me out of it.

Like the shopping, running makes me feel instantly better (like starving or purging used to do). It's an endorphin release and personally I think you look for that like I do. The things that you are doing aren't that weird and with the exception of the financial stuff they aren't that harmful either.

[anxiousmess]

thank you for your replies. i guess my health anxiety is playing up again. considering i'm right back here, looking at mental illnesses trying to find an answer :(
maybe it never went. maybe it's just not ALWAYS there, but comes and goes!

kev, i do need to know what is what. i can't have anything just thrown at me, i need to know what i'm doing and how i'm doing it.
if somebody is speaking to me, and stop half way through, or they forget....that kills me! i need to know the rest of what was going to be said! not out of noseyness. i could be something so stupid, it's not worth knowing. i just can't leave it though.
that goes hand in hand with the correction of other peoples words too. i need to correct people. i just can't rest until i have!

the need to know things is what has got me in this position right now. if it wasn't for them not explaining exactly what they meant by 'obsessional traits', i probably would be onto a different obsession by now.
but the fact they did do that, i can't rest until i know for sure what i want to know!
hmmm