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haileey
05-23-2012, 10:59 AM
I don't even know what's wrong with me. A couple years ago I was diagnosed with anxiety & was prescribed Prozac which I thought really worked for me but I stopped taking it. & now I've been having panic attacks/anxiety again so I went to the doctor & was prescribed Zoloft. I've been taking the Zoloft for a couple months now & these past couple days I've been doing really bad. It starts out like this, I wake up & automatically just start examining how I feel & start feeling really scared and nervous. Just the thought of making it through the day is so dreadful. Then I'll be awake for a little bit & just start getting extremely scared and nervous & just cry super hard for over an hour, it's so bad to the point were it makes me nauseous & I just don't want to do this anymore. I just want to die. & then I start thinking of my mom & it breaks my heart & just makes me cry even more cause it kills me that not only am I going through this but I'm also making her go trough this & I know she gets frustrated with me. It just kills me that I can't just be happy for her. & even when I'm not having a panic attack I still just feel weird..like I can't even explain it. I just don't feel like myself & I feel like no one can relate to me & no one wants to help me & I'm just going to be like this forever. I feel like nothing is real & everything is just fake & my doctors and everyone just pretend to care but they really don't. I'm also scared in going blind because sometimes just out of nowhere my eyes will just get dim really quick then go back to normal & it freaks me out. I just want to know there our people out there that can relate to me & have overcome this because it feels impossible to me. Sometimes I feel like its not even anxiety & it's just some uncurable thing that's happening to me. :( if anyone's felt like this please talk to me & try to help me through this because I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so terrified that I'm going to stay like this forever & eventually just kill myself. That scares me so much.
& also my mom wants to talk to my doctor about switching me bak to Prozac, is that a good idea or no? I also just get scared when I have to take my zoloft each day..I feel like its not healthy to take medicine & I'm always so scared of side effects. Also a lot of people tell me that medicine doesn't even work & it's all in my head :( so please tell me your experiences & only tell me positive things can anything negative will just set me into another panic attack im sure :(
& ps im a 17 yr old female. My grandma told me this is also just a phase & stuff cause I'm going through my teenage years.

haileey
05-23-2012, 11:19 AM
Someone please help me:( my psychologist is out for 3 weeks & i have no one to talk to..:(

cherub
05-23-2012, 11:42 AM
Hi Hailey, don't give up. Anxiety and panic cannot be cured over night but it does get easier. I started having panics 2 years ago abd was that bad i couldnt leave my house. With medication and cbt i got through it and have been panic free for 2years up until now. Ive had the suicidal thought because it feels u will always be like this but believe me it will get better. U've got to try and find the positive in things and not focus on the negative and believe me u will see the difference but it takes time. Ur not alone hun and alot of us have felt the way you do now. There are so mamy people there to support you but the hard work has to come from u hun. I promise you will get there. Try things like yoga amd meditation and spend at least half an hr a day doing something u enjoy. U'll get there hun.x

cherub
05-23-2012, 11:47 AM
P.s i find the meds help hun. Also changing ur diet can help. Eat foods high in serotonin and b vitamins such as green leafy veg and oily fish. U might wana try writing a journal too to help u express ur thoughts and feelings. Go with what u believe and dnt allow other peoples negativity to bring you down x

hopeNfaith88
05-23-2012, 12:03 PM
Hailey,

I can definitely relate! You are not going crazy. I feel exactly how you hav described - i dread sitting alone all day because everyone else in my fam goes out to do things and i just sit at home and cry. The sunlight really adds to my anxiety. Does it get easier for you at any part of the day? For me when the sun goes down and everyone comes home i can relax and feel moderately normal. I too feel stuck and stressed like itll never get better because my anxiety has made me so agoraphobic i dont go outside during the day because everything looks SO WEIRD to me, too bright and just not normal. This is derealization, a symptom of anxiety. It can really mess with your head and scare you. Zoloft may be a bad med for you, you should tryto switch back to prozac since you had success with it before. I know some anti depressants can make anxiety and depression so much worse. I was just trying out celexa and it made me feel hopeless and scared of everything, even to walk to the bathroom! Our minds are powerful things. Its all part of it to be paranoid that something really is wrong like cancer etc.
I have GOOD NEWS though. My brother went through this and he overcame it. He talks to me all the time and it keeps me strong. He said he felt hopeless like he would never feel normal again but hes so relieved he stuck thru it because one day it all got better.
Just keep enough strength to keep helping yourself. Talk to people around you, go to doctor/psych visits. I got a full checkup done at the doctors just to ease my mind that it wasnt an illness of some sort. I am only 20, not much older than you. I know its scary, but i know itll get better. Things always do.

haileey
05-23-2012, 12:46 PM
Hailey,

I can definitely relate! You are not going crazy. I feel exactly how you hav described - i dread sitting alone all day because everyone else in my fam goes out to do things and i just sit at home and cry. The sunlight really adds to my anxiety. Does it get easier for you at any part of the day? For me when the sun goes down and everyone comes home i can relax and feel moderately normal. I too feel stuck and stressed like itll never get better because my anxiety has made me so agoraphobic i dont go outside during the day because everything looks SO WEIRD to me, too bright and just not normal. This is derealization, a symptom of anxiety. It can really mess with your head and scare you. Zoloft may be a bad med for you, you should tryto switch back to prozac since you had success with it before. I know some anti depressants can make anxiety and depression so much worse. I was just trying out celexa and it made me feel hopeless and scared of everything, even to walk to the bathroom! Our minds are powerful things. Its all part of it to be paranoid that something really is wrong like cancer etc.
I have GOOD NEWS though. My brother went through this and he overcame it. He talks to me all the time and it keeps me strong. He said he felt hopeless like he would never feel normal again but hes so relieved he stuck thru it because one day it all got better.
Just keep enough strength to keep helping yourself. Talk to people around you, go to doctor/psych visits. I got a full checkup done at the doctors just to ease my mind that it wasnt an illness of some sort. I am only 20, not much older than you. I know its scary, but i know itll get better. Things always do.

Thank you, it makes me feel a little better to know someone can relate to me. But yes, I usually feel a little bit better towards the end of the day when I'm going to bed, that's what I usually look forward to is sleep, cause I can get away from my thoughts & bad feelings..I am currently going to hangout with one of my friends but I'm terrified I'm going to have a panic attack so wish me luck! & thank you again:) I just found this forum so I will probably be on here quite often lol

sutralotus
05-23-2012, 05:05 PM
I think switching bad to your old meds would be very helpful and no u are not alone. I feel that way as well but have improved a great deal. It takes time and talking it out even if it's not with a professional

haileey
05-23-2012, 10:37 PM
Hi Hailey, don't give up. Anxiety and panic cannot be cured over night but it does get easier. I started having panics 2 years ago abd was that bad i couldnt leave my house. With medication and cbt i got through it and have been panic free for 2years up until now. Ive had the suicidal thought because it feels u will always be like this but believe me it will get better. U've got to try and find the positive in things and not focus on the negative and believe me u will see the difference but it takes time. Ur not alone hun and alot of us have felt the way you do now. There are so mamy people there to support you but the hard work has to come from u hun. I promise you will get there. Try things like yoga amd meditation and spend at least half an hr a day doing something u enjoy. U'll get there hun.x

Thank you for being so nice, it is appreciated & does make things a little better:) thanks