Fear

[glassrose777]

Have had a fear of death and destruction since forever. The odd thingvis that I love horror movies and have contemplated suicide. It's not even just the fear of myself dying but those close dying like my mom. Every so often I go on a few days of anxiety and panic freaking out about dying and something bad happening. During this time I am in constant fear that something bad will happen. It's so irrational because anything will trigger a spurt of panic. I know I can't change the future or prevent anything from happening I just hate these periods. I don't know what to do. It's horrible this feeling. I know it'll pass it always does and I'm ok for a while but when its going on I feel like it'll never stop. I just don't wanna feel like this. Any suggestions on techniques would be most appreciated.

[sutralotus]

This is exactly what I've been going thru for two months. It's terrible to be freaking out about something u can't do anything about. I myself have been seeking some one that is going through this same issue. The only thing that helps me a lot is religion and reading the scriptures but sometimes it doesn't calm me down and I'm just stuck,. But my worse thing that I still haven't figured out is how to stop myself from thinking about it constantly. It's ruining my life. What do u do to cope?

[glassrose777]

Yeah I know how you feel. Though I do get short bursts of panic its rare when it gets immense for a long period of time. The problem is that when it does like now I feel like it'll never go away. Like I'll keep feeling like this forever. I hate it so much. To cope I try and keep my mind busy because then I can't think about it much. I try and pray the rosery at night. The repetitiveness helps. I was never a huge religious person and have kind of strayed away though still keep it I think I should go back. The rosery does help sometimes though. I just can't stand feeling like this and I can't imagine it happening for months. Do you take medication at all?

[sutralotus]

If it gets too much to handle I take a Xanax but I haven't in several weeks. On the religious note my anxiety improves a great deal when I'm consistent with reading the bible etc... My mother gives me her reasoning behind this but I'll spare u of it lol

[sutralotus]

I have a question for u... What exactly about death bothers u so much that u panic?

[sutralotus]

Yes it is but most people don't dwell on it

[glassrose777]

Losing the ones I love. The fact that they'll no longer be there. The fact that one day I won't be here to see anything. The uncertainty of it mainly. I try not to think about it.

[sutralotus]

I try not to think about it either because then I start to feel overwhelmed with panic, thinking into every little detail/aspect of it. Which makes it worse. It sounds to me u got the same issue I have. Non existence phobia

[sutralotus]

How can cbt be used on death anxiety?

[glassrose777]

Yeah. I do t like thinking about it because it'll lead to an attack.

[sutralotus]

My issue is not having my mind dwell on it. If I goes away for a whole it'll enter my mind again and I'll just get upset like y can't I stop thinking about it! Idk I think OCD plays a big part in phobias

[glassrose777]

Yeah I am usually ok with a spurt here or there for a few minutes. But then once in a while ill be overcome with an immense attack and fear forwhatever reason and of course you have an attack and feel like your dying and on the thoughts go. It sucks. Really bad...

[sutralotus]

Yea mine had gotten so bad I was afraid to fall asleep cuz I thought I wouldn't wake up. I hate the fact u turn off when u sleep. It's taken me months to be able to sleep some what like an average person. I would fight sleep til I passed out which was three days of staying up straight and then slept two hours and woke up panicked cuz I realized I fell asleep

[glassrose777]

Forwells.... Yeah it makes sense what you're saying. My anxiety doesn't come a often as I'm sure others but when it comes bad it's bad. Like a constant anxiety panicky feeling. And yes dwelling is a huge part of anxiety. Easier said than done.

[sutralotus]

I've improved a great deal without meds and therapy although I'm not cured or anything yet

[glassrose777]

Yeah ive thought of the sleep thing too. I've always had trouble sleeping so I try to calm down as much as possible before sleep if I feel some anxiety.

[sutralotus]

Yes chamomile tea helps but when I'm having a full blown panic about sleep I take the Xanax. It's just too intense thinking it's your last waking moment and won't wake up. Ugh dreadful

[glassrose777]

Yeah. It is....

[sutralotus]

What helps u

[sutralotus]

I pm u... U the only person I've met with the same thing do maybe us chatting could hopefully be helpful

[glassrose777]

I can't pm back it won't let me

[glassrose777]

What heap me is to try not to think about it to deeply. Distract myself.