Tired of feeling hopeless!

[angie]

I constantly feel a lot of fear...fear of dying...fear of loosing control! I'm so tired of feeling this way...feel Like I have let my kids down! They don't need a crazy mom...they need a strong woman to guide them and be there for them!!! Why me ???

[fisher]

Angie you just sound like me,i am so scared of dying i have been like that from being young and i am now 38 yrs old,it has become an anxiety issue i think i have a health phobia x

[Buttercup]

First of all, you are not crazy, secondly, you are not letting anyone down and thirdly you are strong.
I spent a long time asking "why me" and being incredibly negative but that gets you nowhere. I have finally stopped asking why me and just accepted that this is the way it is and only I can deal with it. There are issues from my past that may have made me the way I am but other people who were in the same boat don't suffer from anxiety and that used to upset me that it was me who ended up like this. But everyone is different and accepting who you are is key. You may suffer from anxiety but I bet there are so many positives about you that you just can't see at the moment. I found it helpful to look at people who are in much worse of situations than I am and are living their lives to the full - people with cancer and other disease etc. You are living with this condition and that makes you a strong woman. Living in fear is a horrible thing to deal with and I am managing to get over my most recent "episode" with help from a therapist and medication. Along with a great support network of friends and family it is slightly more bearable. Do you have a therapist to help you work through things?

[angie]

I'm 38yrs old as well ...have dealt w this the best I can but sometimes feel Like its stronger than me!!! I have high blood pressure....and lately I'm scared to even look at a blood pressure cuff! Isn't that crazy??? I'm constantly thinking my Bp is sky high....I think my anxiety is making my Bp spike even higher!!! Don't like myself at this very moment...my family thinks I'm crazy...they tired of me:( that's why I joined this forum ....want some help even if it's just to listen to me....I feel so alone😰

[Buttercup]

Are you on medication for your high BP?

[angie]

No I recently lost my health insurance feel like all doors are closing on me!!! I'm buying my Zoloft at regular price without insurance and it's putting a hole in my pocket! Not sure for how much longer I can continue buying it...terrified to stop taking it....withdrawals are the worst!!!

[angie]

Yes I'm on Bp meds...but it almost seems like its not helping me....Bp always high:( and when I see it high I go into a panic and make things worse!

[Buttercup]

if the meds aren't working then you should go back to the doctor to change the dose or try new ones. My mum has high BP and it took awhile to get the right meds to control hers. Also using the BP cuff is not a good idea. You have high BP, you know you do and constantly checking it will not help and will make the anxiety worse. I used to suffer from health anxiety and several times a day i would take my temperature and blood pressure- any fluctuation would freak me out and leave me very anxious. Best thing I did was throw away the blood pressure monitor!
I am from the UK so am lucky that i don't need health insurance as we have the NHS and all prescriptions are free in Scotland now. I have no idea how the American system works but are there not places you can go to get help if you have no insurance?

[angie]

You r so lucky....not here! In the state of Texas everything is w insurance!!!! Unfortunately I live
In a border city and makes it even worse...I did email my doctor this morning that was treating me for my hbp and anxiety before I lost my health coverage...I am hoping and praying that she can help me adjust my meds...think I might need to get an increase in my Zoloft....are u taking any anti depressants or anti anxiety medication?

[LSalo]

I'm 38yrs old as well ...have dealt w this the best I can but sometimes feel Like its stronger than me!!! I have high blood pressure....and lately I'm scared to even look at a blood pressure cuff! Isn't that crazy??? I'm constantly thinking my Bp is sky high....I think my anxiety is making my Bp spike even higher!!! Don't like myself at this very moment...my family thinks I'm crazy...they tired of me:( that's why I joined this forum ....want some help even if it's just to listen to me....I feel so alone😰

This sounds so much like me. I'm 27 and do the exact same thing about my BP. I check it every time I am in a store... I'm scared of it. I think its high even when it's not. My fiance has to calm me down and tell me that there is nothing wrong with my pulse. I am the mother of a 7 year old and feel like I am letting her down as well. "Moms sick...I can't right now".... I find myself saying that a lot and see the disappointment in her eyes... it's bad when my seven year old will tell me during an attack "your heart is okay.... you wont die"... I'm so sick of this. I'm sorry you are dealing with it too :(

[Ivana Sabljak]

I completely feel your pain almost exactly. I am 29 years old just had my first baby July 29, 2011 she is going on 10 months. I was only on adderall and xanax for emergency anxiety usually happening during my period prior to pregnancy. Once I got pregnant things started to fall apart, my job, my relationship, and the health of the baby was questionable. So I was put on zoloft at 4 months pregnant. I had bad and good moments but nothing like this. I gave birth and still nothing terrible. Then all of a sudden I was put back on adderall and the zoloft and adderall didnt mix well. Then I got changed to prozac which also did not mesh. I stopped everything except the adderall and everything was good. Now I have gone back to work, am in class, am fighting constantly with my sperm donor, I make crafts for extra money and I take care of my daughter basically on my own ( I did move back in with my parents during pregnancy so they are helpful) But recently with all of this I have started to seriously panic. I actually had my sister take me to the emergency room where I was evaluated and nothing was found. Then I re visited my shrink who told me to try and tough it out because it sounds like I simply have TOO much on my plate. Well I am still having issues its like every time I come off the adderall I feel like I am crashing terribly. I feel like I am a terrible parent and that someone is going to come drag me to the mental hospital while my helpless baby watches because I cannot seem to get it together. Going to work has become a chore and I see myself not wanting to leave the house hardly. I am a firm believe of God and have prayed for hours on end trying to get relief and nothing. I started talking to friends and I heard the berametric pressure (I know thats spelled way wrong) is high and sometimes that affects peoples moods. I dont know what else to call it. But I am going to tell you what my shrink told me. You are not crazy, this happens to many people and it ALWAYS passes...

[Ivana Sabljak]

I honestly feel like I can relate to you so much I feel the exact same way! My family is so frustrated with me they start yelling at me when I mention feeling hopeless and they cannot help it because they feel helpless they cannot help me. I Was debating looking into being hypnotized it was that out of control. you certainly are not alone! We are all here with you! Many people seriously feel exactly what you are feeling and it is important to accept that this is happening and not feel sorry for yourself that it is. I have a program called panic away I pull out every time my anxiety gets bad and I have never finished it because it gets better and I just stop reading! I should probably finish right? you would think I would want to get better!