Work

[Amy1986]

Due to crippling financial issues, I have to go back to work Monday :'(

Anxiety is running high, I'm not ready to go back to the place that caused all my issues.

[Buttercup]

I am in exactly the same position as you and it's horrible. I can no longer afford to stay off as I only get SSP so am being "forced" to go back a week on Tuesday. My anxiety returned at work for various reasons back in September last year. I struggled on until January until it got too much and I was off for 2 months. I was lucky though that I was transferred to a different service within my work to see if that would help my anxiety. I lasted a week and have been off again since. My HR manager is great though and we have discussed about moving to yet another service, changing shift patterns, reducing hours and so on. I have a meeting next week to discuss my options when I return the week after.

Is your work helping you through this at all? It is their job to ensure you feel happy, confident and safe at work and they should be checking if there are any measures they can take to make your work better for you. Have they offered a phased return? Have they offered occupational therapy etc?

Like you I am very anxious about going back and since my work have been so helpful since I have been off I feel like this is my last chance and i can't mess it up by being off again. Then there is the worry that if I lose my job I will never get another one due to my absence record.

Also, during the time that you were off have you been seeing a therapist/psych? I have been discussing my return to work with both my GP as I see him every 2 weeks due to meds and also my therapist who I see weekly and they have been so helpful.

Good luck with everything x

[Amy1986]

I was seeing therapist once a week for a few months. Work caused my last breakdown last year and blamed my strength as a person and took no responsibility.

I was working 70-80hr weeks and it was so hard.
My job is awful but I'm not qualified in anything else and would have to go back to school.

I'm bricking it, I'm glad your work is bring supportive for you though :) good luck for your week too :)

Thank you for being there.

[Buttercup]

I am so sorry your work are being such bastards about it. But as an employee you do have rights. There are various employment laws that could help you out. I think contacting your local citizen's advice bureau would be a good start. Also your doctor can write to your employers stating what changed they can make for you. Working 70-80 hrs a week is ridiculous. I was hitting around 60 hrs a week and that led to serious burn out along with some other factors. There will also be plenty of jobs out there that you do not need to be qualified for. have you thought of seening an advisor who can recommend more appropriate jobs so you could change position? Again, CAB can put you in touch with someone who could help with your job options or even your local job centre.
I get so angry when I hear about managers not being supportive- they can be so ignorant to certain conditions and I doubt they could cope if they walked a day in our shoes. You are being backed into a wall here and you have no control which no doubt makes the situation worse and also returning to a job you hate will again make things worse. I really hope you get help somewhere, it is your employers duty to support your return to work so please try get advice from CAB or even investigate employment law on the net so you get some options xxx

Edited to say as well that you can not legally be forced to work over 48 hrs a week. Did you sign an opt out form for the 48 hrs week? Even if you did you have the legal right to retract that.

[bhamlaxy]

Do meds not help? What are you taking?

I had a massive panic attack a week before my job ended (it was a highly stressful political campaign). I was faced with the threat of major anxiety, derealization, and panic attacks each day for that last week.

The only reason I made it was ativan. Just .5mg (a small dose) was enough to totally take the edge off and keep me functional.

I know money is tight, but a benzo may be just the thing to make work tolerable for the short term.

[laurandisorder]

While I don't like to advocate the irresponsible use of benzos, I think your situation could call for it.

I also find that just throwing myself in at the deep end helps a lot in terms of work, in fact, I have learned that my anxiety is far more manageable and panic attacks are fewer and farther apart when I'm working.

I too have a stressful job that relies on interacting with other people and I take a Valium each morning just to take the edge of the panic that has haunted me for the last few months. It has helped tremendously. In terms of divulging what is going on with my anxiety, I haven't had to thus far.

Good luck with your return to work. I hope it goes smoothly.

[bhamlaxy]

I have learned that my anxiety is far more manageable and panic attacks are fewer and farther apart when I'm working
I'm the exact same way. Even when work gets a bit stressful, I get in the zone and am totally distracted. Very on point, little to no anxiety.

It's when I wake up on days where I have nothing to do that I get most anxious.

[Amy1986]

See I'm the complete opposite.

I stress easily, pre-made plans cause do much anxiety because I over think and start thinking stupid thoughts about everything that can go wrong for me. Im better with things spur of the moment.