anxiousmess
05-16-2012, 12:22 PM
just thought i'd update on the CTT appointment i had.
it wasn't as bad as i thought at all!
had a panic attack before they came, was anxious as hell while they were here. i had calmed down before they left though, thank god!
i will hear back from them on wednesday, with a write up of what has been said about me in the meeting they are having!
i'm quite looking forward to it, in a way!
hopefully it will give me everything i need to know in order to help myself move forward.
from the conversations i had with them though, the main focus was on my obsessive side.
talking about it with them, with them firing back at me with questions made me think a little.
i figured out how my obsessions are always there, but focus on different things.
i am obsessed with something at all times.
but during my phase, whatever i am obsessed with, i always act on it.
plants have been an obsession of mine (still lingering), so not only did i buy loads, i'm also growing some of my own. the plant obsession came about because i decided to buy a mint plant...all because my dad planted a honeysuckle in my garden. along with many other plants, but it was the honeysuckle that stood out to me.
it's the same with every obsession of mine.
she says i have obsessive traits. what i would like to know is why? whyyyyyyyyy do i have obsessive traits? is it just my personality? is it something wrong with me? i would understand being obsessed with something - but i don't understand why i am only obsessed for a while, then it fades and i move on to something else?
it's obviously not normal. they even offered my partner support for carers. which made me feel terrible!
it wasn't as bad as i thought at all!
had a panic attack before they came, was anxious as hell while they were here. i had calmed down before they left though, thank god!
i will hear back from them on wednesday, with a write up of what has been said about me in the meeting they are having!
i'm quite looking forward to it, in a way!
hopefully it will give me everything i need to know in order to help myself move forward.
from the conversations i had with them though, the main focus was on my obsessive side.
talking about it with them, with them firing back at me with questions made me think a little.
i figured out how my obsessions are always there, but focus on different things.
i am obsessed with something at all times.
but during my phase, whatever i am obsessed with, i always act on it.
plants have been an obsession of mine (still lingering), so not only did i buy loads, i'm also growing some of my own. the plant obsession came about because i decided to buy a mint plant...all because my dad planted a honeysuckle in my garden. along with many other plants, but it was the honeysuckle that stood out to me.
it's the same with every obsession of mine.
she says i have obsessive traits. what i would like to know is why? whyyyyyyyyy do i have obsessive traits? is it just my personality? is it something wrong with me? i would understand being obsessed with something - but i don't understand why i am only obsessed for a while, then it fades and i move on to something else?
it's obviously not normal. they even offered my partner support for carers. which made me feel terrible!