Can I disappear inside myself?

[NativeLady_2010]

Well I'm sure I'm known as a crybaby on here. lol. I really don't talk to anyone else. Because I think ppl think that I should be over this by now. I am kind of embarrassed that I am still feeling this way. Anxious ALL the time. Its changing though. When my gma died in Jan it was full blown attacks a few times a day then anxiousness in between. Waking up into attacks at night. Then it was the derealization, but the nite attacks stopped. Then that tapered off and I was just mildly anxious all day. Now, since yesterday, I feel "numb", my whole body. I can feel myself, but I feel numb. Its weird. But I just learned a couple of days ago that my grandpa. My dads dad, has cancer. Like I have mentioned before. We are a very close family. My gma that passed away was my moms mom. I am just going day to day with that. I still cry almost everyday. But I am afraid for my grandpa now. If he passes soon I don't think that I will be able to handle it. I think that is why I am feeling numb. I am scared that I am just gonna black out and be a vegetable forever. Like I am gonna break. I don't know how I can ever feel better. I am 29 and I feel like there is nothing to look forward too. Ppl are gonna die, whats the point? I don't even feel like trying anymore. The anxiety doesn't stop, things keep happening. I am defeated.

[brittany09]

Your not a crybaby. No matter what point your at,things can be turned around. I would say your main problem is negative thinking. That can cause a circle of anxiety. I know because it's my problem too. Sit there and worry constantly,and of course your going to have panic attacks if your prone to anxiety. That cycle needs to stop. Find things to keep yourself busy. Don't think,just do. There are positive things in your life. Write them down so you can always remember them when you aren't feeling good. I think you might also be depressed. Your just in a funk and will get out of it. Sometimes it takes longer then other times. Have you considered taking natural medication?