Really stuck

[jessy]

Hi everyone , I'm having a bad time ,really bad .
I need some friends , some company , but I've spent so many years isolating myself because of my anxiety & depression . I can't carry in like this . I've had this going on for 15 years , it's ruined my life , I'm 31 yrs old now & I've had several thoughts of suicide & one attempt , that has lead me to where I am today .
It's a long long story & I'm to panicky right now to tell my story .
I've been on lot's of diff ad's , I am currently in dothopen & lorazapam , have been on lorazapam for a few years , I know I am addicted .
I am only in a low dose now , It's the only thing that helps .
I'm a mum & I'm struggling every day , very lonely , yet now fear being around anyone .
I have all the horrible symptoms you all describe , I get them all , on top of that I feel depressed .
I have no life at all , I just exist .
I've read a lot of posts on hear & can relate to nearly all of them .
If anyone is in a similar place /position to me & wants to be friends , let me know

Jessy x

[JAug]

Jessy, welcome to the forum. Sorry to hear you're going through some tough times. You'll quickly learn that you're not alone and that what you're going through is more common than you could ever imagine.

Have you considered trying psychotherapy? A vast majority of the time there is an underlying issue or incorrect thought processes that are attributing to bad feeligns/thoughts/views of life.

[jessy]

Hi , thank you for replying 😊
I have tried c.a.t & c.b.t in past years but that was a long time ago & at the time of the c.b.t I was heavily medicated & just couldn't focus or engage properly .
I have been offered a therapy called EMDR & am going to give it a go.
I think c.b.t could be a good therapy for me , but not just yet .
Had a big Trauma in nov 2011 & need to deal with that yet , then move on from there , hopefully .
Jessy

[johno31]

Hi , thank you for replying dde0a
I have tried c.a.t & c.b.t in past years but that was a long time ago & at the time of the c.b.t I was heavily medicated & just couldn't focus or engage properly .
I have been offered a therapy called EMDR & am going to give it a go.
I think c.b.t could be a good therapy for me , but not just yet .
Had a big Trauma in nov 2011 & need to deal with that yet , then move on from there , hopefully .
Jessy

Hi jessy I know what u mean I tried cbt it didn't wrk for me I feel like shit all the time I need Simons to chat wiv I feel so alone

[johno31]

Am John I have Facebook if u need a chat I like talkin to people wiv mental health problems I feel relaxed round them that I can be myself it's keightley John add me if u like

[jessy]

Thanks for your reply .
It's a very lonely illness , I feel alone most of the time .
:-(

[alankay]

Jessy, have they tried an add on like buspar to the AD? Some anxiety patients need the benzo(I was on lorazepam for 3 years) and if your symptoms cannot be managed without one, that's OK(at a low to medium dose). You are reliant on it not addicted. If you were taking it to get high that's one thing, but to use it to feel fairly well, function and help you while you continue therapy, etc, it's therapeutic(although not optimal but we all don't respond "optimally" to AD's and psychotherapy). As long as the dose is not very high, you're probably are not getting any memory impairments and are safe to drive, etc.
Adding fish oil to your diet might help as well. 2 grams every morning of a quality fish oil cap.
Am I right by thinking depression is the bigger issue over anxiety? PM me directly any time! Alankay

[jessy]

Thank you for the reply .
I would say over the last couple of years the depression has been the biggest scariest most dreadful feeling , whereas anxiety I've had since age of 6 (I'm now 31) so although it is an awful thing to have , I can manage it quite well a lot of the time , sometimes it gets the better of me but I'm not afraid of it . I'm so used to anxiety & the feelings /thoughts associated with it . I still get panic attacks but not as bad or as frequently .

Life stresses can trigger bad bouts of anxiety , I have all the usual symptoms that people have described on here .

I currently take an AD called Dosulepin at night & 3 occasionally 4 lorazapam a day , not every day , it just depends .

I've had bad experiences with some anti depressants & one in particular was very unwell from .

I don't like relying on lorazapam but I have no choice .
:-/ jessy

[jessy]

P.s What is Buspar ? ?
Could you explain a little

[hopeNfaith88]

P.s What is Buspar ? ?
Could you explain a little

BuSpar
Generic Name: buspirone (byoo SPYE rone)

BuSpar is an anti-anxiety medicine that affects chemicals in your brain that may become unbalanced and cause anxiety.

BuSpar is used in the treatment of anxiety disorders and and for short-term relief of the symptoms of anxiety, such as fear, tension, irritability, dizziness, pounding heartbeat, and other physical symptoms.




Ive never taken it but i want to. Its non-narcotic and not a benzo. It takes a lil longer to kick in than benzos do. Like a week or so.

[alankay]

Yep it's classed as an anti anxiety med but can add to the effects to AD's when the AD isn't enough. When some are at the max AD dose(or max tolerated dose) and still not getting significant relief they sometimes add a med if other AD's weren't effective or well tolerated. Seems changing the AD med is not an option here so adding buspar or wellbutrin are options to discuss with the doc. I trust you get care from a pdoc(psychiatrist) right?
It's actually not a very good anti anxiety med but is sometimes used as an add on when more action on serotonin is desired to lift mood. Optimally one should try different meds until you find one that does it for you. If not then they find one that helps and is well tolerated and augment with another med like buspar or wellbutrin. Ask about them. Both are well tolerated but since depression is the main issue ask about slowly adding wellbutrin. PM me any time. Alankay.

[jessy]

Thank you for the information , much appriciated
:-) jessy