Life is ruined for me all of the sudden

[hopeNfaith88]

Hello everyone. This is my first post. Stumbled upon this website out of despair. i am looking for any kind of answers from someone kind enough to respond...

I am a college student, 20 years old, who up until two months ago very much enjoyed life. I went out frequently, loved driving on road trips. I suffered no more anxiety than the average, and it was purely situational. Suddenly and without any apparent reason my life has turned to hell.

One day i couldnt leave my house. Something about walking out my front door, the world looked too bright and just not the same. I now have panic attacks if i even walk to my mailbox. I cant drive period. The worst places for me are grocery stores and really any place with alot of bright fluorescent lights. Something happens with my vision that i cant explain. I feel foggy and like i cant focus on anything. It gives me headaches sometimes. I worked in a grocery store and had to quit my job, also i had to take a leave from school. I cant sit under lights in a classroom. All this is very scary and hard on me. My life is on hold while i am constantly suffering. I had to break up wih my girlfriend because i cant go see her or give her the attention she deserves.

The hardest thing is trying to help myself. Ive gone to doctors offices but i am incapable of describing to them how i am feeling. As i begin to talk about it i panic, i lose my train of thought and forget what i am saying. I always have atleast one panic attack at the doctors office and as a result have grown. Eru phobic of them.

At night i can drive short distances, and maybe stop in a store or get gas. Nighttime seems to be easier for me due to less lighting. Maybe i get too over stimulated during the day or something. Im not sure. My sleep has taken a bad beating over this too. I used to love sleep but now i am lucky to sleep 6 hours and at night i never fall asleep relaxed. I force myself to shut my eyes and lay there til i fall asleep. Im always obsessed with every body sensation i feel, always obsessed with how my view of the world looks from my eyes. Sometimes i feel like im separate from my body, i dont know.

If anyone feels this way too...please tell me...god im so scared that im sick or something

[alankay]

Hope, you may be very photosensitive(blue or green eyes?) and that additonal stimulation tips off anxiety(almost any stimulation can aggravate anxiety in an anxious person). Now that you've associated the two it just happens that way for you.............for now any way.
If it were me I'd write down how you feel, and have been feeling and take it with you to the docs. If need be apologize, explain your very anxious and hand him/her the paper. Could be a little social anxiety as well talking with the doc. You may need to find a younger doc as for a while now they have done more training in Psychiatry as a rotation in Med school(3rd year usually). In years past that was not as deep as these days as anxiety is much more recognized and treated in Family/General Practice. I have no doubt anxiety is the issue not so much your eyes proper.
PM me any time. Alankay

[brittany09]

Hi,I can 100% relate to this post. Sounds like me. Totally happy and normal until I started experiencing anxiety. I have literally all the symptoms you listed. I have had GAD for a couple years but it's usually manageable. A few months ago I got way worse and have developed agoraphobic symptoms. I feel basically everything your feeling. The only times I go anywhere are when my boyfriend drives me and even those places are very limited. Most of the time I sit at my apartment by myself or sit at my parent's. Stores are the worst. But that's a common fear of anxiety sufferers. The reason why is your body is in overly stressed mode and your senses are overly sensitive.The fogginess is probably derealization. Do you also feel like your detached from what's going on,like you might be dreaming? Those are symptoms too. When you have so much anxiety your brain tries to protect you from more stress by making you feel like this. Also,anxiety disorders often start when people are young. My advice is to try natural stuff first. That's what I'm doing.Take magnesium supplements and drink whey protein shakes for the amino acids. A lack of magnesium can sometimes cause anxiety,and the amino acids get depleted by stress. The supplements can help you be better equipped to fight it. Try taking small steps to get out and do more. As small as you need them to be. It will start to get more comfortable. Anxiety is a stressed mind and body. If your feeling bad enough for a while,you can develop habits you want to get out of. Like staying at home too much or all the time,being afraid of irrational things,avoiding everyday tasks,etc. Keep telling yourself you have done all those things and nothing bad has ever happened. I'm making progress by doing all the things listed. If you decide you want to talk to a doctor again,maybe they could prescribe you something over the phone or maybe you could find a doctor to come to your house. I wouldn't be afraid to tell them your having panic attacks when you try to come in. They are doctors after all. Hope I helped,PM me if you need more advice. I can give tips for panic attacks or whatever else.

[omnicell]

Take what you like, leave the rest, just my opinion, Im not a therapist.

Possible you have dissociative disorder/agoraphobia. When you see a doctor, copy what you wrote in this post; take it to him let him read it. I would suggest a therapist over a regular Doctor to start with.

Sorry your in so much grief and pain, your not alone.