Life stress...

[laurandisorder]

Hey everyone,

I have been dealing with the ol' anxiety and panic attacks quite well lately. A few minor setbacks, nothing really worth mentioning. Which is great - right?

But as seems to be my bad luck, just when one thing starts to go right, another takes a turn for the worst.

Yesterday my partner was informed that his work was shutting down and that his last day will be on Friday. He has been at the company for only 6 months, so there's no redundancy or severance package.

The last time he was unemployed (August 11- Jan 12), he was incredibly depressed, not at all motivated and we almost broke up over it. I applied for around 70 jobs on his behalf (he was so depressed he just didn't care) in that six months and barely got more than a dozen responses. He has an excellent resume, but the employment situation isn't that good that the moment.

This means I once again have to shoulder our entire mortgage - which is huge - and all of our bills for however long this is going to last... While in all likelihood he sits back and does nothing.

This nearly broke me last time it happened - and I wasn't really dealing with anxiety back then.

Sometimes I just want to scream at the sky! Unemployed twice in 12 months! Why him? Why us? We're still chasing tail - financially from the last time he was out of work!!

I'm already feeling tense, stressed and anxious over what is to come. I'm really angry at him - even though it's not really his fault. And I guess I'm already predicting what is going to happen based on past experiences, but in my experience, men seem to be creatures of habit (no offense) and isn't doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results the definition of insanity?

I'm sorry guys. I just had to vent.

[bhamlaxy]

I've dealt with the same issues with my girlfriend. Fortunately she found a job in the end and is still with them, but it definitely puts some serious stress on the relationship. We broke up for a few months over it but got back together and she was motivated enough to find her job.

I'd recommend being brutally honest with him. Tell him how hard it was for you to struggle the last time it happened, and that he has to be motivated to find another job. You don't want to torture yourself for months. If he freaks out over it, maybe it's time you reevaluate the relationship.

I don't know what it's like in Australia, but do they have unemployment insurance? In America if he was paying taxes he would surely qualify for a few months of payments.

[laurandisorder]

He would be entitled to claim unemployment benefits, but even as a single income household, I earn too much for him to get anything from the government.

We have spoken honestly about it and he has reassured me that it's not going to be the same as last time, but he had to have today off work because he was sick - physically sick - I would imagine it had a lot to do with stress. But that's about $100 not earned for the day.

We're also operating on just the one car at the moment - mine, which is incredibly in need of a service! This is going to make it tricky for him to get to interviews whilst Im at work.

I don't know. I'll just have to see what the next few weeks brings!!