laurandisorder
05-06-2012, 06:49 AM
Before my most recent (and ongoing) battle with anxiety and panic attacks, I booked a holiday with my partner and family for my 30th birthday. My partner and family don't get along all that well - nothing serious, but he has treated me poorly in the past. We are working through our issues, but my family aren't convinced he's changed too much.
Anyway, as soon as this anxiety resurfaced, I have been. STRESSING about this vacation. I'm plane phobic and a very nervous flyer. To make things worse my partner just started a new job and is still not sure he can get the time away and I always fret about leaving our pets at home. Not to mention the potential tension that could ensue between my man and my family.
I have been tossing up whether to call the whole thing off, but was scared to do so because I didn't want to disappoint my family and we had already paid for flights.
Today I made the decision to go. I don't want to be in town for my 30th. It sounds silly, but I lost a very close friend 7 months ago and we were the only people in our group turning 30 this year. His birthday would have been only 2 weeks before mine. I really didn't want to be stuck here, in the cold for my birthday and I certainly didn't feel the big party thing was appropriate.
I think I would have really regretted not going and this is basically my way of saying 'stuff you' to panic and anxiety. I have the tools and meds to survive the flight. I have been away from my partner before and hell, I deserve a tropical vacation after this horrible start to the year.
I'm sick of letting this get me down. So I'm going.
Just making the decision has made me feel a million times better and in just over 8 weeks, I'll be lying on the beach or near a hotel pool relaxing!
Anyway, as soon as this anxiety resurfaced, I have been. STRESSING about this vacation. I'm plane phobic and a very nervous flyer. To make things worse my partner just started a new job and is still not sure he can get the time away and I always fret about leaving our pets at home. Not to mention the potential tension that could ensue between my man and my family.
I have been tossing up whether to call the whole thing off, but was scared to do so because I didn't want to disappoint my family and we had already paid for flights.
Today I made the decision to go. I don't want to be in town for my 30th. It sounds silly, but I lost a very close friend 7 months ago and we were the only people in our group turning 30 this year. His birthday would have been only 2 weeks before mine. I really didn't want to be stuck here, in the cold for my birthday and I certainly didn't feel the big party thing was appropriate.
I think I would have really regretted not going and this is basically my way of saying 'stuff you' to panic and anxiety. I have the tools and meds to survive the flight. I have been away from my partner before and hell, I deserve a tropical vacation after this horrible start to the year.
I'm sick of letting this get me down. So I'm going.
Just making the decision has made me feel a million times better and in just over 8 weeks, I'll be lying on the beach or near a hotel pool relaxing!