The Great Anxiety Lie ??

[Mysticsoul]

The Anxiety Lie

I just had a two hour conversation with a famous anxiety doctor therapist/writer who is a friend of an old school friend who hooked us up. He brought up a concept that I had thought about and been told but this time it hit home.

He said that the disorder lies to us into thinking that we have to keep researching it - reading about it - finding support and talking about anxiety to recover or stay safe. When in fact the very act of believing the lie is what keeps the condition going. He said that the focus on anxiety tells the brain there is danger or something wrong or needs to be fixed.

That something needs to be fixed gives the brain signal that there is danger and it responds to this by up regulating into more anxiety. He said anxiety lies to us and the more we believe the lie and give it time the sicker we get and the more compelled we are to find a solution. He said there is nothing wrong with us and there is no solution - the fix is not to fix anything and stop the focus on a problem that has no solution except not to engage it.

Being trained as a research scientist I am into doing research and being male I feel a need to fix things. So according to the this doctor I am keeping the condition going by engaging my educational tendencies of research and by entertaining anything to do with anxiety.

I hate to say this but it is exactly the same thing I was told by the respected anxiety doctor Elke Zuercher-White I went to see who has been treating only anxiety for 31 years and has a host of books on the subject. Unfortunately she was too aggressive in wanting me to just go back to a full life tomorrow and that seemed too overwhelming....so I discounted her.

After this long conversation I need to process it but I have tried everything but letting it all go. I will say in my last anxiety breakdown in 1989 I was tortured for 6 months, near house bound and nothing worked until I decided I wanted a new motorhome and a new car and started spending time researching them a few hours a day on the net. Once I had all the info I went out and started shopping - in three weeks I went from almost 100% disabled to almost well and in another month I was back to work full time and traveling out of the country - was it the intense distraction - ????

[bhamlaxy]

I totally agree with the idea that it's a lie. If only it were that easy to just understand that and be cured. But getting better, often slowly, certainly means coming to terms with that simple fact.

I know it's kind of cliche but when it comes to anxiety there really is nothing to fear but fear itself.


Your anxious and a friend drops in or rings and you yap away
Definitely. During my first panic attack that set off my panic disorder, I ran into an old friend on the street and talked for a few minutes. It was as though I totally forgot I was having a panic attack.

I often find myself distracted with friends or with a certain task, and feel totally fine. But when I'm alone or have a moment to think "I have an anxiety disorder!" that's when I start getting anxious.

[PanicCured]

Excellent Post! I call anxiety a bluff. But a big lie fits too. The researching and figuring it out has a strange paradox. You need to research it to find out how to get better, but researching it and thinking about it progresses the anxiety. I posted Just Give Up here: http://anxietyforum.net/forum/showthread.php?10454-Just-give-up

I may be wrong, but I do believe in my anxious days I did have physical causes as well as mental causes that needed to be addressed, such as a nervous system way too sensitive. I still believe in doing things to heal your body, but the attitude needs to be anxiety is bullshit and a big lie and not to feed into it.

[laurandisorder]

I quite like this approach - it makes so much sense.

For example Monday - Friday I have very few problems with anxiety at work with slight occasional symptoms that don't affect my performance. I'm busy and distracted most of the day, working my skinny butt off.

Then it is as if a switch flicks on the weekends and especially on my recent holiday from work, where it seems as if every day is a struggle. Every hour I'm almost waiting for it to strike. I'm setting myself up. The simplest of tasks; watching tv, going to the shops and tonight attempting to drive to my parents (epic panic attack and fail) seem impossible.

So, putting it bluntly, how do I start to tell this lie, this bluff to go and get f**ked?

[Mysticsoul]

I have a friend who is in intensive therapy for severe OCD/anxiety and his therapist told him the same thing. Now that he has the basic education on the condition to get off the support forums - stop reading the books and stop talking about it.

He told him that each time he entertains a thought about anxiety then neurons that produce it are made stronger and easier to fire off.

As I thought about abandoning all my research and these groups/books I could feel myself getting more tense and slept only about 2 hours. When I am at my worst I feel compelled to figure it out and now I have been told that this is the disease (not really a disease) talking and wanting to be fed. And as it is not being fed it will try to get me/us back into the relationship with it by saying I wont survive unless I figure it out.

My OCD friend's anxiety tells him that unless he gets someone to talk him out of his fears he will get really sick (contamination OCD) and probably die a horrible death. His therapist told him that every time he gets support it drives the OCD deeper and makes it more powerful.

This is hard stuff to stand naked with the anxiety and walk across the hot coals of fear to reach recovery.