Anxiety while shopping

[FindingLight]

I have had a fear of large groups of people for a while. In high school I would wait til the halls were clear to go to my next class. It seems to get worse every year. It went from large groups to just one unknown oregon on an elevator causing a panic attack. Just in the post year going to walmart causes a great deal of stress. All I wanna do when I get in there it's bolt to the door. I constantly think "who are these people? What are they capable of? Why did that poison look at me? Is the clerk mad I'm using more than one payment method?" How can I reduce all the thoughts when I'm shopping? Would bringing an mp3 player help?

[Dave G]

I too have thoughts like these when I go to places like Wal Mart or the Mall, etc. I don't so much get into what people there might be thinking, but more of just the fact that i feel like I'm being watched in general. Places like these make me cautious of my every movement. I even feel like I walk differently in these places because I am paying so much attention to how I walk. It's weird because i can feel totally normal outside, especially if I have sunglasses on - but once those doors slide open and that cool air hits my face and the neon lights get to glowing, I have instant anxiety. Some time my eyes water or feel like they are about to water because I am even monitoring my blinking.

The thing about this stuff is it's nonsense. I think you and I both know that we are not being watched. I think you know that the people at these stores aren't plotting against you, aren't mad at you, and probably wouldn't even recognize you if they saw you again 20 minutes later. How many people do we see on a day to day basis? And how many of them are we judging and taking time out of our day to thoroughly observe? Chances are very few, if any. We are just like the people around us - going about our business. Except we have this crazy thing in our heads telling us we're different, when in reality we are not different - just our thinking is.

It helps me to just think about this stuff and tell myself how ridiculous it all is. It doesn't always work - and sometimes I feel like I'm just lecturing myself, knowing that I'm going to get the anxiety regardless of what i tell myself. But other times I do walk into that store with a different mentality - knowing that everyone there is there for one reason: to buy things. Are they there to watch me, or to get me? Of course not.

It even helps to sometimes look down on the people there, as bad as that sounds. Not giving them dirty looks or anything, but just telling yourself in your head, "I'm better than most of these people, why should I care what they think of me?"

I don't think an mp3 would be a good idea - that's just my opinion. That seems like a way of avoiding the problem, rather than confronting it. I think that would just make you less aware of your surrounding, as well as draw more unwanted attention to yourself - cause honestly, how many people do you see walking around the store with headphones? I don't see very many.

Good luck getting through this stuff - and just know that you are not alone.

[FindingLight]

Thank you!

[LookingForward]

I have the same problem as well. I think just as Dave said by focusing on buying the stuff you need and not the people around you it can help. Then you are in control of the situation. I have only recently started processing this focusing idea. It seems to be helping quite a bit.

[MainerMikeBrown]

I used to get very anxious at the supermarkets cash register. I was paranoid that their would be a problem with my food stamps (as I'm on disability) and that people waiting in line would get frusterated at me if their was a problem. However, I figured that over time, the anxieties would diminish after purchasing items at the grocery store over and over. But it never did until I finally got on the right medications for my anxieties.