brokennotdead
04-23-2012, 12:50 PM
Hi,
I'm Krystle, I suffer from severe anxiety as a result of my fiancee's intense jealousy and low self-esteem (aka inability to get over my past even though his is not even remotely close to sainthood & i do have to say is substantially "worse" than mine). I feel like I have been getting worse with my anxiety. Friday night was the worse night I have ever endured in this relationship. I didn't feel like my physical wellbeing or life were in danger, but I was intensely scared. It was something I would not wish on anyone and I felt like I was in a horror movie (much like the Paranormal Activity movies, only this was worse because there was no demonic possession, it was all from my honey's twisted thoughts & actions.) I felt like Saturday I floated through the day like a zombie, I snapped out of it momentarily when my sweetheart got sick and I had to go to the store to buy him soup & Gatorade (which after what I had gone through Friday night and other occasions before that I'm sure you would think of me being crazy for still caring for him the way that I did). After I brought him back not only the ramens he had asked for but also chicken noodle soup (which he did NOT ask for but out of the kindness and love in my heart I wanted to give him another option) he got a lot better and he was coming around to talking to me like normal. Then we went to the grocery store and back to being silent and withdrawn he went. I have cried every single night since Thursday night and I have also thrown up day & night. My stomach constantly feels unsettled and Saturday night I found myself to be jumpy and edgy. I hate it. Sunday morning he woke up normal but I felt so numb and emotionless I didn't seize the opportunity to "get him back" to normal. Right now I feel dizzy, weak, and like I just want to crawl into bed and sleep the week away. I didn;t get much sleep last night due to night sweats and anxiety from an argument that escalated into a screaming match last night. I called my sweetheart's parents for advice (since they have an unbiased opinion on the ordeal even though they are mostly on my sidewhen we argue) and that helped calmed me down. I feel like if I wasn't at work that I would just be sitting in a chair staring at the wall doing absolutely nothing. I hate feeling like this, I feel like I"m going to stay like this compared to other psychotic outbursts my sweetheart has had. Other days as soon as he gets over it I get over it but this time I feel like I can't shake this feeling of detachment. Does anyone have a similar experience or advice?
I'm Krystle, I suffer from severe anxiety as a result of my fiancee's intense jealousy and low self-esteem (aka inability to get over my past even though his is not even remotely close to sainthood & i do have to say is substantially "worse" than mine). I feel like I have been getting worse with my anxiety. Friday night was the worse night I have ever endured in this relationship. I didn't feel like my physical wellbeing or life were in danger, but I was intensely scared. It was something I would not wish on anyone and I felt like I was in a horror movie (much like the Paranormal Activity movies, only this was worse because there was no demonic possession, it was all from my honey's twisted thoughts & actions.) I felt like Saturday I floated through the day like a zombie, I snapped out of it momentarily when my sweetheart got sick and I had to go to the store to buy him soup & Gatorade (which after what I had gone through Friday night and other occasions before that I'm sure you would think of me being crazy for still caring for him the way that I did). After I brought him back not only the ramens he had asked for but also chicken noodle soup (which he did NOT ask for but out of the kindness and love in my heart I wanted to give him another option) he got a lot better and he was coming around to talking to me like normal. Then we went to the grocery store and back to being silent and withdrawn he went. I have cried every single night since Thursday night and I have also thrown up day & night. My stomach constantly feels unsettled and Saturday night I found myself to be jumpy and edgy. I hate it. Sunday morning he woke up normal but I felt so numb and emotionless I didn't seize the opportunity to "get him back" to normal. Right now I feel dizzy, weak, and like I just want to crawl into bed and sleep the week away. I didn;t get much sleep last night due to night sweats and anxiety from an argument that escalated into a screaming match last night. I called my sweetheart's parents for advice (since they have an unbiased opinion on the ordeal even though they are mostly on my sidewhen we argue) and that helped calmed me down. I feel like if I wasn't at work that I would just be sitting in a chair staring at the wall doing absolutely nothing. I hate feeling like this, I feel like I"m going to stay like this compared to other psychotic outbursts my sweetheart has had. Other days as soon as he gets over it I get over it but this time I feel like I can't shake this feeling of detachment. Does anyone have a similar experience or advice?