hey hey =)

[hoppipolla]

hi everyone!

i've been meaning to join an anxiety forum for some time, but wasn't sure how to find one that wasn't too ad-ridden or medical as a lot are!

so, with my attention divided between this and the tv (terminator 3 is on channel Five... lol :shock: ) i'll try to explain what's up :)

i've always been a little nervous and uneasy as a person, but within perfectly healthy and manageable and happy boundaries, i had no problems with it at all. Was always happy-go-lucky! Unfortunately though, while I was at uni it got much worse ._. it went from slight unease to cutting myself off from people a bit, to a little bit of obsessive stuff, to insomnia, to heart palpitations and stuff... all sorts. I couldn't sit through lectures or seminars by the end without feeling panicky and tense and having to leave, and i was kinda forced to leave in the end due to this really big heart palpitation i had >.<

and theeeen i couldn't leave the house for about a month and a half as i was worried i'd faint again like during that big palpitation, but luckily i had a good m8 around and so at no point was any of this depressing and most of the time i even continued to enjoy myself to some extent.

it was all a bit of a shame really, as i really enjoyed my anthropology course and was learning sooo much about myself over that time. I was really into linux computing and conspiracy theories and was learning lots. i passed the first year but then dropped out without completing the second and am now at my dad's... and will soon be fiiiinally getting a job.

i guess what did it was the worries about near responsibilities, money, new friends, nagging parents, new surroundings, all kinds of things... plus my gf at the time left me right in the middle of it! lol so that was really hard.

now, i am trying to climb back up and maybe go back to uni with a m8 in september, and am really into environmental stuff, human rights and fair trade, ethical companies, things like that, (bit of a hippy! hehe) and my linux computing has been kinda simplified to this little laptop! hehe

ok wow this is really long so i'll end it soon - i can really talk! lol at the moment my anxiety makes me like... constantly tense, worried about the next emergency, worrying about tomorrow and the future, pains... things like that. oh and quite bad social anxiety, even though i love being around people normally :(

anywho, i'll end this here...

peace! lol

Hoppi :wave:

[jitters]

Yep I love the terminator films too. Apparantly this is linked to Anxiety, no not because we fear arnie. But because we are Catastrophisers i.e. we worry about the problems in the world and Nuclear Wars, amongst other things. So we find films set in this kind of environment interesting as for us it seems entirely likely.

Anyway back to you, I too am Outgoing, Fun-Loving etc. I have found out this is actually as strange as it sounds down to me making up for low self esteem. I despratly need reassurance I am a good person. The truth is most anxiety sufferers are the nicest people in the world as we worry about every thing to the point were we try and change the world. You hear from charity workers, Greenpeace activists, Aid workers, etc. GAD causes us to "what if?" about those everyday issues and thats what makes us ill. Our boss doesn't nod or say hi in the morning by the afternoon we already convinced ourselves we are going to lose our jobs. Not that the boss was just under pressure or didn't notice us. What if he is going to fire me? What if I have no money to pay the rent? What if the wife leaves me? What if I get sicker? ... and so on.

Your a good person, you deserve to get better. Look around this site the answers are out there.

[hoppipolla]

so much of that makes sense to me man... i guess i am often worrying about the next disaster, i rarely find time to settle into my own little life although part of that might be down to being unemployed and stuff (i will be working again very soon so that is ok).

any my pet rabbit seems absolutely convinced it is possible to dig her way into a pillow (she is running around my room)... i keep telling her otherwise but she won't listen! lol

she also loves my clothing as most of it is made of hemp lol

what you said about reassurance you are a good person makes sense to me too... i wonder if that's one of the reasons i've got interested in all this benevolent stuff... who knows! and i read too much into people's gestures and stuff too, i can't just be happy being me and chill out.

oh well =)

you're a good person too and hopefully we can help each other out a bit :)