New here, with health anxiety

[Jamievw]

So ever since I left home 10 years ago I have struggled with some amount of anxiety. It used to just happen on occasion but never really interfered with anything. After I had my daughter 2.5 years ago was the worst it ever was. It only started when I was about 3 months post partum but it was so bad I could barely get out of bed. I was convinced something bad was going to happen to me. I felt weird pains, had numbness on my skin I was in a constant state of panic. It got so bad I was terrified to drive or leave the house and was constantly afraid something would happen to me (I think seeing my husband have an un-explained seizure in Walmart while I was pregnant was part of what gave me this fear). I was too scared to take meds after having a terrible reaction to my first dose of Lexapro and CBT did nothing for me. Like everyone else, I had tons of tests done and everything came back normal. Three months went by like this and then we move out of state. Within a month or so after we moved the anxiety went away almost completely. I still felt nervous at times and it scared of silly things but I was able to function again.

Fast forward to now. I'm 3 months post partum with my second child and starting to have these symptoms again. Terrified that something will happen to me. Obsessing over every little thing I feel, starting to find reasons to avoid going places. Having my doctor run almost every blood test possible... I'm terrified that my anxiety will get bad again like last time. I even tried to take a Zoloft on a day that I wasn't feeling anxious and I ended up having panic attacks all day after taking it. I couldn't bring myself to take another dose. My husband doesn't understand my anxiety at all and gets infuriated when I repeat myself and because I don't calm down when he tells me I'm fine. His lack of understanding only makes it harder.

[jk34]

My wife is expecting our second child, and that's when my anxiety hit an all time high also. I have also been very scared that something was wrong with me and still am. I think I have a brain tumor one day then the next I think I have undetected HIV and yesterday I thought I was having a heart attack again. If I feel a bump on any part of my body I think the worse. What I have come to find out over the past few months is that I think I'm so anxious about these things because I don't want to do die young and have my 2 kids grow up without me. Maybe that's part of your problem as well? I have had all the tests done and everything came back normal, but of course, there is always the classic what ifs.

[alankay]

Jamie, in your case I'd ask about starting zoloft at a tiny dose(12.5mg) and slowly raising the dose(to 50mg and hold). If needed you might need a long acting benzo like valium. klonopin or clorazepate until you get to a stable normal dose(50 mg of zoloft) that you can tolerate.
Buspar is another option to ask about.
If you are that sensitive to ssri's you could ask about lyrica. Although used for GAD off label it may offer some relief if you cannot take the other meds I listed.
Sorry about your hubby. We cannot calm down otherwise we simply ...would. And thats the problem after all, right??? I know it's real and you don't want to feel that way. Maybe he'll accept that someday. PM me any time. Alankay.