Never been normal at my age

[LisaMichelle]

Hello, I'm 23 years old and I've always wished to be a normal twenty three year old. Unfortunately that's never been the case. I was raised by a father who constantly worried and I guess it wore off on me because I developed, as a young girl, irrational fears. These fears come and go. Sometimes I have a normal few months where I am myself and then I have dark and painful times that I call "my funk with my episodes." I worry about little things in my own world, "do I have cancer?" "will I die soon?" "Are my parents sick and they dont know it?" "When will I ever graduate from college?" to bigger things like "is the world coming to an end?" "Will we be bombed?" "Is a meteor about to crash into earth?" Sounds ridiculous to other people but I can't ever explain it to my normal 20 something year old friends who worry about what to wear the night we're going out or why hasn't so and so called me? I only wish to worry about trivial things instead of things I have no control over. I don't have health insurance nor do I have the budget for a therapy session or I would have jumped on that a long time ago. This has followed me since I was young and when I finally did see a therapist in high school he suggested medication which my mother denied and took me out of therapy. I haven't been back since. I'm hoping I can find people who understand what I go through and maybe learn some coping mechanisms. I try to explain this to friends and family but it's rare they know how to respond to calm me down. I hope this will be a good outlet for me to spew my irrational fears instead of weir-ding out my loved ones who have been kind and patient. I'm sure they are worn out of telling me "its going to be okay whatever happens happens" Currently, I am in a "end of the world" fear stage and I don't know how to give myself peace of mind. Its bottled up in me so I decided to come here maybe someone can offer a few words of advice that I had never thought of. I really just want peace of mind.

[FibroWarrior87]

I'm 24 and completely understand. I've always had irrational fears (my dad also was an extreme worrier) but since I got into a car accident in 2009, things have got extremely worse! My most irrational fears all revolve around worrying about death. I worry that when someone I love just goes to the store a mile away they'll get into an accident or whiling walking on a sidewalk ill get hit by a car, I just worry about everything
(constantly)!!! Ahh! So frustrating. I just want to feel like a 24 year too!

[LisaMichelle]

It's true. My boyfriend of four years has to text me or call me every time he gets home. If not I start to panic and think something has happened. My brother passed away in a car wreck so it amped up the fear of losing someone close to me.

[alankay]

Lisa, worry is at the core of the trouble. Worry is a low grade negative obession of sorts. I bet you'd benefit from a course of an ssri like zoloft for 3-6 months. Just to see how you do. Might help you wory less and be less anxious. A GP can Rx that and it be pretty cheap that way. Most of the ssri's are in generic and very cheap.
Education is also key. See if you can find a used copy of Reid Wilson's book, DON'T PANIC. Good educational material there but there of course are others. PM me any time. Alankay.

[LisaMichelle]

Thanks Everyone! I'm glad I found a place to let it out and hear from people who understand it better. I already gained such great advice.

[brittany09]

Hi Lisa,I'm 20 and totally know what your going through! My mom is a huge worrier,which I think got passed down to me. Genetically or just being around her enough I guess. I worry about a lot of the things you just listed. So many that I'm relieved to hear there's another person like me. I worry about dying,my parents being sick and or dying,the world ending,having to live in a post apocalytic world. Then there's the why am I here...is god real or not real? Most things I have no control over and there is no answer. I think my world ending worries come from me watching so many tv shows about them. I am so interested in doomsday preppers,ancient aliens,the universe,etc. They make me think too much. So I'm going to stop watching them and stop reading about them. It freaks me out. Maybe your doing something you don't realize that's causing your worrying? I don't think you sound like you have any kind of mental condition. Just a deep thinker. Maybe a little anxiety?

[cac17]

Hello Lisa,

as soon as i saw the name of your post i wanted to get in. I felt identified with it.

I'm Carlos, 23 years old.

As you and other have described, since i was a kid, i use to worry about things that are trivial to the rest of the people.

I also felt scared for things like "the end of the world", "i got a disease", "some of my parents or family members were going to get injured", and the list goes on.

I also experienced the "worried parent", who was always alert of what i was doing as a child, and was always scared and anxious of what i was going to do.

I think you should try to see this like something as a condition that got attached. It is with you but not part of you.
In that way, you can try to thoroughly describe what is going on, how real is the fear you're having in a certain moment, and how adequate is the level of fear that has develop with a certain environmental or self stimuli.

It is not easy, and i can tell you that with my experience. I have an everyday battle with fear.

I suggest you, if you feel like there is no way you can control it, to consider a therapist consult again. Pharmaceutical therapies are useful, not a cure, but at least gives you a neutral position, and they help you to help yourself.

One of the things that have helped me a lot is to see and hear from other people experiences. It kind of make me feel i'm not alone in this.


Hope to see you around here.


Take care!
And good luck.