G_A
04-15-2012, 04:59 PM
Sorry for the essay!
Hi,
I'm 22 years old, I live alone and have done since I moved out of my mum's at 17. I'm an IT Technician for a public sector organisation (I can't be specific as I would like to keep this anonymous for the most part), I'd like to say before anything that I have no problem with talking on the phone at all (I do this a good 50 times a day) and infact I love talking on the phone, I find it really easy and is I guess a preferred method of catching up with people rather than meeting them in person...
I've been struggling to understand what is wrong with me for as long as I can remember, possibly from the start of high school. However, unfortunately I cannot remember when my problems began, which for me makes it difficult to tackle as I am unable to pinpoint exactly what I should be addressing.
I feel that not all of these issues could be anxiety related and I'm really really interested and hopeful that I can achieve some better understanding of this through advice and sharing my story with a similar community.
Day to day, as many people on this board have talked about, I struggle with socialising, meeting new people, making any kind of small talk face-to-face. When faced with having to talk in front of a group of people that I do not know well, for instance at work, I begin to have panic attacks. I am able to keep these under control from breathing exercises which I have learnt from other sites. However, these panic attacks have never lessened and I avoid any situation where I know an attack will come on whenever I can avoid it. This may be making up excuses why I cannot do something to my boss or friends.
I often find with severe panic attacks that I physically become ill. I will vomit and have stomach cramps, become dizzy, weak and tired and a few times I have nearly passed out.
Situations that can trigger for me are:
Large groups of people
Socialising or making small talk
Public Speaking
Standing in queues
Changes in my daily routine that I am unable to control, such as having to go far away from home or a change to my routine of chores or travel times.
Any sorts of intamacy. There have been a couple of intimate moments where I have been unable to "perform" and that has obviously had a negative effect on my outlook on relationships and my abilities to have them. I have only had that one real relationship and since then have been too anxious when meeting women to talk to them and the thought of being intimate with another girl makes me anxious just thinking about it. All the anxieties together make it impossible to meet anyone, I would sound crazy describing these problems to her!
I have been to my GP/Doctor recently as I had a couple of really bad panic attacks at work, when I was not under any of those trigger points. The doctor diagnosed me with SAD, this almost felt as though I had been palmed off because they did not know what was wrong with me.
I would really like to get over these issues as more and more now I am getting anxious about being anxious (I hope that makes sense) and all I am doing is worrying that something bad is going to happen to me and that I will have a panic attack. I am avoiding too many things in life and I want to enjoy my life to the fullest.
Have just read a couple of threads on here to get me started, the idea about Magnesium and Amino Acids sounds really useful and I am going to read into that straight away tomorrow.
Thanks and I look forward to hearing your input and really appreciate any advice you can offer for me as I would like to turn my life around and start enjoying it rather than wanting it to end ASAP.
EDIT: Oh I forgot to mention the non anxiety related issue/s. I previously lived in a flat (recently moved 6 months ago) and in this flat I could hear everything from people talking to kettles boiling, you name it, it was like living in paper dolls house. The whole time I lived there, it seemed to me as though I had some sort of extra-sensory perception of noises. After a while I really started to lose it, the small noises I complained to neighbours about - confronted them through a written letter and they agreed to keep the noise down. However nothing had changed weeks on. I really started to believe I was going crazy and was getting so angry whilst being at home that I would start obsessing over the routine of these noises, what time they would occur, even staying awake until a specific point in time as I knew what time I would get woken up by certain noises. I started to get so angry at being woken up by these noises, hearing people talking etc that I would punch and kick the walls or bang on the ceiling. I still now even though having moved to a much nicer and quieter place can hear quiet noises more than other people and obsess over them. Other people can't seem to hear these noises!! This symptom does not tie in with anything else I have mentioned above, other than changes to routine coupled with this and anxiety could be Asbergers Syndrome but I wouldn't even know how or where to go to have that diagnosed, or even know if that would to know I had it!
EDIT2: Oh and another one I'm really not sure about, I am physically unable to sleep on my back. When I lie on my back I cannot get enough oxygen through my nose or mouth. If I do ever manage to fall asleep on my back maybe when really tired or if I have been drinking (times when I would fall asleep quickly) then I will wake up gasping for air, basically in the middle of having a panic attack because I cannot get enough air. I'd really like to be able to sleep on my back as sleep on my sides is uncomfortable and my ribs dig in a lot! Don't know if you guys can help me that one or not though.
Hi,
I'm 22 years old, I live alone and have done since I moved out of my mum's at 17. I'm an IT Technician for a public sector organisation (I can't be specific as I would like to keep this anonymous for the most part), I'd like to say before anything that I have no problem with talking on the phone at all (I do this a good 50 times a day) and infact I love talking on the phone, I find it really easy and is I guess a preferred method of catching up with people rather than meeting them in person...
I've been struggling to understand what is wrong with me for as long as I can remember, possibly from the start of high school. However, unfortunately I cannot remember when my problems began, which for me makes it difficult to tackle as I am unable to pinpoint exactly what I should be addressing.
I feel that not all of these issues could be anxiety related and I'm really really interested and hopeful that I can achieve some better understanding of this through advice and sharing my story with a similar community.
Day to day, as many people on this board have talked about, I struggle with socialising, meeting new people, making any kind of small talk face-to-face. When faced with having to talk in front of a group of people that I do not know well, for instance at work, I begin to have panic attacks. I am able to keep these under control from breathing exercises which I have learnt from other sites. However, these panic attacks have never lessened and I avoid any situation where I know an attack will come on whenever I can avoid it. This may be making up excuses why I cannot do something to my boss or friends.
I often find with severe panic attacks that I physically become ill. I will vomit and have stomach cramps, become dizzy, weak and tired and a few times I have nearly passed out.
Situations that can trigger for me are:
Large groups of people
Socialising or making small talk
Public Speaking
Standing in queues
Changes in my daily routine that I am unable to control, such as having to go far away from home or a change to my routine of chores or travel times.
Any sorts of intamacy. There have been a couple of intimate moments where I have been unable to "perform" and that has obviously had a negative effect on my outlook on relationships and my abilities to have them. I have only had that one real relationship and since then have been too anxious when meeting women to talk to them and the thought of being intimate with another girl makes me anxious just thinking about it. All the anxieties together make it impossible to meet anyone, I would sound crazy describing these problems to her!
I have been to my GP/Doctor recently as I had a couple of really bad panic attacks at work, when I was not under any of those trigger points. The doctor diagnosed me with SAD, this almost felt as though I had been palmed off because they did not know what was wrong with me.
I would really like to get over these issues as more and more now I am getting anxious about being anxious (I hope that makes sense) and all I am doing is worrying that something bad is going to happen to me and that I will have a panic attack. I am avoiding too many things in life and I want to enjoy my life to the fullest.
Have just read a couple of threads on here to get me started, the idea about Magnesium and Amino Acids sounds really useful and I am going to read into that straight away tomorrow.
Thanks and I look forward to hearing your input and really appreciate any advice you can offer for me as I would like to turn my life around and start enjoying it rather than wanting it to end ASAP.
EDIT: Oh I forgot to mention the non anxiety related issue/s. I previously lived in a flat (recently moved 6 months ago) and in this flat I could hear everything from people talking to kettles boiling, you name it, it was like living in paper dolls house. The whole time I lived there, it seemed to me as though I had some sort of extra-sensory perception of noises. After a while I really started to lose it, the small noises I complained to neighbours about - confronted them through a written letter and they agreed to keep the noise down. However nothing had changed weeks on. I really started to believe I was going crazy and was getting so angry whilst being at home that I would start obsessing over the routine of these noises, what time they would occur, even staying awake until a specific point in time as I knew what time I would get woken up by certain noises. I started to get so angry at being woken up by these noises, hearing people talking etc that I would punch and kick the walls or bang on the ceiling. I still now even though having moved to a much nicer and quieter place can hear quiet noises more than other people and obsess over them. Other people can't seem to hear these noises!! This symptom does not tie in with anything else I have mentioned above, other than changes to routine coupled with this and anxiety could be Asbergers Syndrome but I wouldn't even know how or where to go to have that diagnosed, or even know if that would to know I had it!
EDIT2: Oh and another one I'm really not sure about, I am physically unable to sleep on my back. When I lie on my back I cannot get enough oxygen through my nose or mouth. If I do ever manage to fall asleep on my back maybe when really tired or if I have been drinking (times when I would fall asleep quickly) then I will wake up gasping for air, basically in the middle of having a panic attack because I cannot get enough air. I'd really like to be able to sleep on my back as sleep on my sides is uncomfortable and my ribs dig in a lot! Don't know if you guys can help me that one or not though.