hi

[leahrenee]

my name is Leah. I was recently diagnosed with anxiety, but believe I have been dealing with it since 4th grade. I am now 21 years old and my anxiety is the worst its ever been. I have no idea why it started. There was no significant event I can tie it to. But in elementary school I started missing a lot of days. Going to school made me sick and nervous. At 11 years old I even remember asking my mom if I was going to die. I dealt with these feelings all through middle school and into high school. I would call into school sick so much that I would have to get doctors notes every time or I'd be fined for skipping. It was very stressful. I didn't know what was going on. In the last year, I started becoming extremely agoraphobic and began having panic attacks. I finally knew I had some type of anxiety after researching on the internet. Recently, I was semi diagnosed with having a disease called POTS syndrome. If you research it, sickness and anxiety is a big part. That could have been the cause of the many days of sickness and missed school in my earlier years, but I have no idea what is causing the anxiety and agoraphobia now. The outside world terrifies me. I feel like I can't function. I'm miserable. I decided to join this site to see if I could find just ONE person like me. It's so discouraging having all these feelings and nobody that understands. My girlfriend (I am gay by the way) tries to understand and be there for me but unless you're going through this, I really don't see how anyone can. I'm starting to see a psychologist but I'm not convinced she can help me. I feel alone. I'm depressed. I'm scared out of my mind. I would love to get to know people that also deal with this. I hope someone here can relate.

[jwaynette]

You sound so much like me !! I passed out for the first time in 1st grade . I hated school. All I knew is I didn't feel good there . I couldnt sit still and thought I'd get sick . I was in the 11th grade before the dr found out it was panic attacks . I had already missed so much in life that I couldn't get back . My friends made fun of me when I couldn't handle the mall or movies . Now years later I'm having trouble with takn my paxil and my attacks have goth so bad . I sit in the car when my family goes in walmart, my husband does all the shopping I feel so mad at myself . Why can't I stop this !!!! My daughter wants me to come eat lunch at school with her and I can't even do that :(

[alankay]

Leah, sounds like me(Panic Disorder). My advise would be to see a GP or Pdoc and get started on an ssri. I would start low and taper up slowly to avoid any side effects. This will help lower base anxiety and block or reduce panic attack frequency and intensity. It will take time to work(several weeks). Talking to a counselor would also be very helpful.
You might also benefit from a short course or a benzodiazepine like valium to get you calmed down while you start on therapy and treatment but a doc would be the best judge on that.
PM me any time. Alankay.

[leahrenee]

thanks so much for replying. sorry it's taking me so long to respond, I'm on my phone and it's very slow. I was put on celexa for a few months but I felt that it didn't help me. my parents are very against putting me on medication even though I feel I really do need it. and even though I'm 21, I can't work bc of this so any scripts I get they have to pay for. which means they won't pay for anything they don't approve of. it is very frustrating. but I am seeing a psychologist. I can only get in twice a month though so it's very discouraging. I feel like I need to go weekly. and my psychologist is 35 minutes away. my insurance doesnt cover anything closer.