Gman777
04-10-2012, 01:00 PM
I am new to these forums. Here is a brief history of my problem and then a couple of questions. Thanks in advance for reading.
I am a male, 45 years old, in good shape and good health. Diagnosed with GAD and panic attacks back in 1995. In retrospect I had anxiety all my life because I can remember some situations as a kid where I felt awful and now I can see they were mild panic attacks. But the first big one came in 1989...and they continued for a few months. Had lots of tests done, all came clear, and my doctor finally prescried Xanax. I controlled it with that. Moved to a different city and that seemed to kill the anxiety...at leat temporarly. Fast forward to 1995. Started off as lack of appetite, dizzy and nauseus, then panic attacks, sadness (out of nowhere), and finally agoraphobia where I could not get more than a mile away from my house. Went to the doctor and prescribed therapy and Paxil 20mg. Paxil = life saver. But I gained 20 lbs on it during the first month and then the weight gain stabilized. Took Paxil for 4 years, went off (big issues with withdrawl). No anxiety or panic for 4 years. Then it started again....mild, no agoraphobia. I asked the doctor for something different and she gave me Effexor. Worked well, very little weight gain. Went off after 18 months. Another 3 years fine, then bad again, took Paxil, felt great but gained another 20lbs.
I quit Paxil after two years, worked out like crazy, felt good, dropped all the weight (I am not 6'0" and 178lbs).
Last year I started feeling bad again...anxious, some panic, depression. I didn't want to take Paxil due to the weight gain. I go to the gym 5 times a week, I have built muscle and I don't want to get fat again. So he gave me Celexa. I started with 10mg...awful feeling, more axiety. Went up to 20 mg last month and the anxiety is a little better...no panic attacks anymore, but I don't feel 100%. Certainly not as I felt with Paxil or even Effexor.
Here is the interesting part: since I started taking Celexa my depression is fine, very few side effects other than the headaches and sleepiness during the first few weeks. My anxiety went up, though and then came down but again, it is not 100%. But something else has happened and I wonder if I am going crazy or if it is the medication: soon after I started with Celexa I began to feel weird. Like I am not in my body. I sometimes look at my arms and legs and it feels as if I am seeing somebody else's body...or my body, but it feels strange and scary. Like I am scared of being me. It doesn't happen all the time but when it does is very weird, debilitating, and scary. I go to the bathroom and I don't even want to see myself in the mirror because I feel like I am me trapped in this body. It is the weirdest feeling...scary, and I have never had it before.
Has anybody felt like this before? Am I losing it?
The second thing is sometimes when I take a nap I wake up in panic, almost screaming.....it takes me a couple of seconds to realize I was sleeping and just woke up. I don't remember dreaming anything but when I wake up I go into a panic because it feels as if I don't know where I am for a second and I get scared, but this only lasts a second or so.
I also feel like a zombie sometimes. Hard to get things done at work because I can't focus. It is like my mind is racing with thoughts and I am tense.
Am I going crazy or could this be related to the Celexa?
I have never felt those things before.
Any guidance or ideas based on your experience would help.
I am a male, 45 years old, in good shape and good health. Diagnosed with GAD and panic attacks back in 1995. In retrospect I had anxiety all my life because I can remember some situations as a kid where I felt awful and now I can see they were mild panic attacks. But the first big one came in 1989...and they continued for a few months. Had lots of tests done, all came clear, and my doctor finally prescried Xanax. I controlled it with that. Moved to a different city and that seemed to kill the anxiety...at leat temporarly. Fast forward to 1995. Started off as lack of appetite, dizzy and nauseus, then panic attacks, sadness (out of nowhere), and finally agoraphobia where I could not get more than a mile away from my house. Went to the doctor and prescribed therapy and Paxil 20mg. Paxil = life saver. But I gained 20 lbs on it during the first month and then the weight gain stabilized. Took Paxil for 4 years, went off (big issues with withdrawl). No anxiety or panic for 4 years. Then it started again....mild, no agoraphobia. I asked the doctor for something different and she gave me Effexor. Worked well, very little weight gain. Went off after 18 months. Another 3 years fine, then bad again, took Paxil, felt great but gained another 20lbs.
I quit Paxil after two years, worked out like crazy, felt good, dropped all the weight (I am not 6'0" and 178lbs).
Last year I started feeling bad again...anxious, some panic, depression. I didn't want to take Paxil due to the weight gain. I go to the gym 5 times a week, I have built muscle and I don't want to get fat again. So he gave me Celexa. I started with 10mg...awful feeling, more axiety. Went up to 20 mg last month and the anxiety is a little better...no panic attacks anymore, but I don't feel 100%. Certainly not as I felt with Paxil or even Effexor.
Here is the interesting part: since I started taking Celexa my depression is fine, very few side effects other than the headaches and sleepiness during the first few weeks. My anxiety went up, though and then came down but again, it is not 100%. But something else has happened and I wonder if I am going crazy or if it is the medication: soon after I started with Celexa I began to feel weird. Like I am not in my body. I sometimes look at my arms and legs and it feels as if I am seeing somebody else's body...or my body, but it feels strange and scary. Like I am scared of being me. It doesn't happen all the time but when it does is very weird, debilitating, and scary. I go to the bathroom and I don't even want to see myself in the mirror because I feel like I am me trapped in this body. It is the weirdest feeling...scary, and I have never had it before.
Has anybody felt like this before? Am I losing it?
The second thing is sometimes when I take a nap I wake up in panic, almost screaming.....it takes me a couple of seconds to realize I was sleeping and just woke up. I don't remember dreaming anything but when I wake up I go into a panic because it feels as if I don't know where I am for a second and I get scared, but this only lasts a second or so.
I also feel like a zombie sometimes. Hard to get things done at work because I can't focus. It is like my mind is racing with thoughts and I am tense.
Am I going crazy or could this be related to the Celexa?
I have never felt those things before.
Any guidance or ideas based on your experience would help.