Please help me. Please.

[longliveswift]

ive posted on so many anxiety forums, but nobody bothers to reply. i guess this is my last hope before i go crazy (if im not already).

im a 15 year old girl. i have a stable, loving family, and great friends. i have had no deaths in the family and nothing that i can think of that brought all this on.

im so paranoid about things going wrong with my body. for example, if i get a chest pain, i automatically think heart attack. stomach ache, pendicitus or something. headache, brain tumor. you get the point. im soooo scared of the possibility of me dying. the thought of me not existing tortures me, and is slowly driving me to the point where im starting to question why i should live. im also soooo scared whenever i go to the doctors - even when i went up for a routine medication check up a few weeks ago, my heart was racing cus i was so anxious that he would find something wrong with me, even though he wasnt physically checking me. i had a kidney operation when i was 8 months old cus i have a kidney that only works 30%, and i do have to have check ups every few years or so, but the older i get the more scared i am when i go. that applies to all of this, getting older just makes all this worse and worse. my parents say that the doctors were saying that (before i was born) i wud have heart and lung problems (but that wudnt happen) and that i wouldnt live past the age of 20. i dunno if that as had an effect, i cant really tell. i just cant take it anymore. i know that some time in the future i will have to go back to the hosital and docs, and i just shudder at the thought, i cant take it!! im going crazy!! my parents know i get a bit anxious, but not to the extent that i do.

ive also been really self concious of my weight recently and put on a few stone in the past year, which i am now trying to lose, but i really do feel bad about my body. i do have people that make fun of me at school (not cus of my weight, i know that cus they started it in year 7 and i was actually underweight then) so i dunno if thats knocked my confidence too. ive recently been feeling depressed and down, i dunno if its depression or just a phase im going thru. but i have started cutting, and i kinda do that when i get scared about something else going wrong with my body that the cutting will take my mind off it. or i just do it when im depressed. i dunno.

i also dream of being a singer, i do write my own songs and stuff. i havent told anyone about this cus it seems so ridiculous. i guess thats the least of my worries at the moment thought.

if i dont start to get better soon i dont know what will happen to me, it just seems to be getting worse and worse. i seem fine and happy to everyone outside. i cant talk about this to anyone, i just cant. do i need help? or is it just a phase and me being utterly crazy and stupid? thanks so much for all your help :D

[anxiousmess]

hiya :)

i think you need to talk to your parents about this and see if they can get you into some kind of therapy. or they might even be able to help you :)

i think it's very possible that being told you wouldn't live past the age of 20 has had a very big effect on you. it would anyone! especially since you say the older you get, the worse it gets!
it is anxiety that you are dealing with. so maybe a trip to the doctors would help. i know you are scared to go there, but that is just anxiety!

please try and stop self harming. it becomes a habit, and addictive. so please stop, as it does you no good! trust me, i have been there.
you are probably self concious over the cuts.

everybody your age dreams of being a singer :) writing your own songs isn't ridiculous. if it's something you enjoy, then that is fine.
look at the x factor, there are people alot older than you dreaming of being a singer!

you are sending yourself into a state of panic over everything that is happening to you lately.
what you are forgetting is that your hormones are probably all over the place at the minute. i'm sure they are playing a huge part in all of this!

i definitely think this will die down in the future, but as for now - i think you need a little bit extra help. even if it is just the support from your parents.
don't be scared to tell them exactly how you feel! if they know it all - they will be able to understand a bit better on ways to help ypu :D

[Adrough]

Hi, I am an anxiety sufferer as well. Yes, I definitely think you should get some help. I did and it has helped tremendously. And don't think its crazy to dream of being a singer. That is awesome. It could happen for you too, if youre determined enough. I dont know if you believe in God or not but here is some encouragement... "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to God and the peace that transcends all understanding will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:6-7

[laurandisorder]

You definitely need to have a chat with a counsellor or a therapist. I'm sure that your school has a fully confidential counsellor or care worker.

Go and make an appointment with them. If you're too scared to tell them what is going on, show them this post.

It will be much better in the long run to deal with these issues now, rather than allow them to grow and amplify as you get older.

There is a lot of help out there for you, honey. You need to ask for it though and please, please tell your parents what is going on so they can help you too.

Good luck xxx

[MrVolvo]

I'm sorry for your experience, longliveswift. You are not crazy, you are just a normal girl going through some tough times. Your problem is common among anxiety sufferers and is 100% curable. It sounds as if you suffer from an anxiety disorder and poor self esteem, which often go hand in hand. I'd recommend telling your parents about your problem. How much you tell them really depends on how understanding your parents are. If you don't think they'd be very understanding, don't tell them everything, just tell them you are having self esteem issues and want to see a therapist (make sure it's a cognitive behavioral therapist that specializes in panic disorders).

Please do not give up. I promise you that your feeling is temporary and you will be a better person for overcoming it. Make sure to get plenty of sleep, eat right (limit sugar as much as possible), and take some time each day to meditate (10 minutes would be plenty). There are plenty of free guides to meditation on the internet. You could also ask your parents to purchase the Linden Method, an anxiety elimination program with a very good track record.

if you have any questions, let me know. Be well!

[kmarie30]

Hello I too fear that I will die from EVERYTHING! I have a nasal drip for the past cous weeks and feel like I have a lump In my throat. I'm sure I've had this before. It because I'm such a hypochondriac I assume I have throat cancer. Smoking is my crutch sounds like cutting is yours. Both habits are harmful and a waste of time so please try to stop! Teens your age are assholes doesn't matter if your were prom queen and perfect they will still find something to get you down and in 10 years you will look back and laugh trust me!

I too want to stop obsessing about my health is consumes me everyday. I too spend a lot of time in hospitals as a child which probably started in from a young age. My family laughs at me for being so paranoid but it's not funny to me. I'm really scared of throat cancer right now because of this so called drip. I also had heart palps a few weeks ago and I'm constantly scared my heart will stop now. So I really understand what your going through. If you ever wanna chat drop me a line I could probably use it too!

Take care
K