Anxiety Questions - Driving me nuts

[powa]

Hi guys,

Long story short:

I was a heavy pot smoker up until 8 years ago when I had my first panic attack. I was convinced I was having a heart attack, next three weeks were hell and I slowly but surely recovered. I quit all drugs and have been drug free since.

Now, since October / November 2011, I could feel my anxiety coming back gradually, especially with the build up to Christmas. I was having what I think are intrusive negative thoughts about loved ones etc

About 4 weeks ago, I was out for the weekend and I drank way too much. Went into work the next day and felt fine but I had a freak out at around 8pm that night.

Next day I went to the doctor and explained the situation, doctor said I mild General Anxiety. Gave me some betablockers but I never took them.

Next few days were tough but I got through them - went to the cinema, can control my breathing etc and have started going jogging every night ( WHICH REALLY HELPS )

Fast forward 3 weeks after the panic attack and now my mind is playing games with me.

I keep asking myself "how do I know" questions which is really pissing me off - for example:

How do I know what I do is right?
Why are we here?
How do I know my partner / kid loves me?
How do I know who my parents really are?
Am I in the truman show?
Is this the matrix?
If I go to the doctor, how do I know their real?
Is this laptop real? How was it made? How do I know? How can I prove it?

As you can imagine, this stuff is doing my head in - feel like I'm loosing it.

It's like I'm questioning absolutely everything that I'm doing.

I've never been on any medication for anything AND I DO NOT WANT TO either. I was thinking about goin back to the doctor and asking about CBT but I'm not sure.

My life is stressful, self employed with staff, girl friend and child but I love them all :)

Any thoughts / suggestions welcome.

[ez86]

Don't worry, I think you are just going through a hard time right now. I think CBT would be a great decision for you.
, but
Keep trying to live your life as normally as possible. Also, don't be afraid to reach out to family and friends for support. All of my issues I am currently dealing with hit me like a freight train Christmas Day 2011. I spent about a month not talking to ANYONE about it. The isolation of feeling like I didn't know what was happing or what to do and feeling like I was living a lie around everyone I know made things so much worse. Every time I talked to a family member or close friend about it, I felt a little better. I don't know if this is your situation or , but if so consider talking to others.

Hope this helps, at least a little!

[anxiousmess]

yeah i agree with ez. it sounds like you are going through a hard time right now, and it seems as though your anxiety has kicked it up a notch!

when you get all of these questions floating about your head - you need to accept them as anxiety and try and move forward.
i know when my anxiety is in full swing, i feel like what you are describing and more.

i find that my anxiety gets like that, when i don't deal with it as soon as i detect it.

it can take weeks to build up to this, sometimes even months.
i might feel anxious about something stupid one week, then something else the next week. etc. then i will start feeling anxious about things on daily basis - then i feel as though i am losing all control of everything and that's when the questions start coming. about everything - my sanity especially!

[powa]

yeah i agree with ez. it sounds like you are going through a hard time right now, and it seems as though your anxiety has kicked it up a notch!

when you get all of these questions floating about your head - you need to accept them as anxiety and try and move forward.
i know when my anxiety is in full swing, i feel like what you are describing and more.

i find that my anxiety gets like that, when i don't deal with it as soon as i detect it.

it can take weeks to build up to this, sometimes even months.
i might feel anxious about something stupid one week, then something else the next week. etc. then i will start feeling anxious about things on daily basis - then i feel as though i am losing all control of everything and that's when the questions start coming. about everything - my sanity especially!

Thanks - I'll check out some more info on CBT during the week.

But guys, have you ever had uncertainties about things?

Like, I'm uncertain if this actual discussion is real? Is this normal for anxiety?

I also feel like I'm on my own - how do I know other people are really human and that this world isn't a figment of my imagination?

That's the level I'm at now !

[anxiousmess]

you're welcome :)

yeah i have been uncertain about things especially when my anxiety has been extreme!
derealization and depersonalisation is common for anxiety - have a look at them and see if that is what you feel you are dealing with at the minute?

[powa]

One month later and I thought I'd reply back with an update :)

Still alive, still 'sane' !

I started CBT - have had about 5 sessions and feel progress. I feel my levels of anxiety have dropped but are still high.

I read up on some of the symptoms, ie derealization, depersonalization etc - I've had them all.

At one point, I feared the idea of Solipism and that completely freaked me out but I've progressed past that sort of - I do still have some exisential thoughts but not as bad.

Some points:

My libido is back (!)
I am slightly happier
I am sleeping ok

On the mend hopefully!

[alex1993]

jesus christ, i have the exact same problem. look at my thread. I am asking myself the EXACT SAME QUESTIONS. I keep questioning everything. I'm also incredibly emotional now. I wasnt able to cry for a year, but now everything is setting me off. Reading what you wrote is making tears stream down my face. In relief, I guess. I thought I was the only one who had this thought process, and I actually thought I was having a delusion. It is so scary, because there is nothing you can do or say or have anyone else say to make you feel better.

[alex1993]

i just googled solipsism.. oh my god, that is exactly how I feel.

[fresh]

Have to agree

[alex1993]

I wish everyone the best but you don't need to make a habit of googling symptoms. It generally makes anxiety worse. I have had to learn that. Take care.

I wasn't googling a symptom, but an idea or concept. It made me feel better that it was an accepted school of thought, instead of me continuing to think that I had gone delusional. I am definitely not going to research into it more, though.

ps why am i such a wierdo?