Anxiety Affecting Work

[GeeBee]

To be succinct, I struggle with telling my boss that I have trouble with anxiety. Advice?

For those who like to read, the details:

My anxiety affects how I communicate at work. When I talk, sometimes my voice trembles. Sometimes I have slightly odd mannerisms (shifting my weight from foot to foot, etc), but nothing extremely out of the ordinary. I'm fairly sure my boss picks up on it. I have a difficult time speaking to him; our conversations are vaguely awkward and usually rushed and short. I'm sure I give off an awkward vibe. He's a very nice guy and I have absolutely no reason to react to him this way. I manage staff and usually can speak with them effortlessly, but sometimes when I think too much, my anxiety surfaces. I have a much easier time speaking to women than men (I think because of my father), but even lately I have trouble speaking with anyone but my very immediate family. I fear that the way I tense up, constrict my throat and hold my breath when I speak is becoming a habit. I cognitively try not to, but it's difficult to control.

I'm worried my anxiety is affecting my career by preventing me from communicating effectively while conveying a lucid, anxiety-free thought or message. I lost my job a year ago, I believe because of effects of anxiety.

I've seen a psychiatrist and was on a myriad of prescription medications (separately to see what worked). Any of the medications made me feel okay for a week, then I just felt blah or I felt that they didn't work. They all made my libido non-existent. And coming off of all of them cold-turkey gave me no withdrawals.

I thought getting back into an exercise routine would help control the anxiety, but it hasn't.

I'm a 36 yo male, husband and father of two. I've always had anxiety, but I think it's getting worse as I get older. It's not as bad as others; I don't usually have panic attacks, but it's all relative and nothing I can control at this point. As a male, I feel like a coward.

Thanks for reading and any feedback.

[jman]

I can't even go to work....I've only had this or what they told me was "anxiety" for 3 weeks.
What it seems like to me is my body and mind are giving up. So your lucky all you feel is awkward. Have you ever tried vitamin therapy such as b12 injections or meds like vyvanse? When I was on vyvanse my mood, energy, thought process was much better and allowed me to be more confident and social. Idk y I stopped.

[jman]

Just tell him? Lol I've only managed to attend work once in the 3 weeks since they told me I have "anxiety". It was horrible, everyone knew something in me changed...I just tried not to collapse all day. Honestly don't think I was going to make it. I wouldn't be surprised if they fired me, but I plan on telling my boss what going on this week...if I can even make it there.

[GeeBee]

I don't want telling him to limit me in any way. I don't want him to handle me with kid gloves. I don't want the awkwardness to be worse. And I don't like showing my weaknesses.

[jman]

I understand, but this will most likely result in him being more sensitive & leanient towards you. Is that a bad thing? No....anxiety is a part of you, he will probably respect that you came to him about it..may make you two closer. Have you ever tried vyvanse for your awkwardness/ thought process/ confidence?

[GeeBee]

Vyvanse seems to be prescribed for ADHD. I don't think I have that.

It's funny you mention confidence. Nowhere did I mention anything about that, but I guess it's apparent, huh?

I've dealt with a lot of loss in the past few years (some which could be controlled, others I couldn't), which has really shaken my confidence. I used to be extremely confident in myself; I could be anything or do anything, but not anymore.

Lately I have the emotional maturity of someone in grade school. Thinking about approaching my boss about this causes anxiety in itself. I'm actually afraid I'll break down.

[laurandisorder]

You aren't obligated to tell him anything, unless you want to.

I work in a high stress, people oriented, public speaking kind of job and I haven't really divulged any of my current health issues. I have had to take some time off this last few months due to intense panic attacks and anxiety, but I kind of covered it up by saying I was experiencing dizziness and palpitations (not untrue) and had to get it checked out (also not untrue).

I know I am not the only person who experiences mental health issues at work, but I don't want it to colour people's opinions of me. It's probably not healthy for me, buy I fake it really well and people would be shocked and surprised to know anything is going on.

My advice would be to perhaps try talking to your boss informally, outside of the work setting if possible, if you choose to disclose the information to him. Otherwise, do what I do and fake it. Pretend you are confident and outgoing. It sounds stupid, but when my anxiety is in the background I actually believe the charade I choose to project.