"Help!!"

[Jeordie]

Here's the deal.

I just want my condition to have a name. I know I'm anxious and have many psychosomatic symtoms, but I would rather think this is epilepsy, or something else I don't know because I'm not a doctor! And I know I can't be a doctor of myself, which doesn't make me that hypocondriac.

I feel this is not simply anxiety. Shouldn't I trust myself anymore? Well, maybe this would be worse than having a bad illness. Not being able to trust what I feel.

Tonight I woke up convinced I was going to die soon. My mind kept telling me I was going to die. But I was also sleepy and slept over the anxiety: I was feeling dizzy, my head like it wasn't straight.
I woke this morning feeling in a similar way. It didn't pass! I'm still dizzy, my head feels strange, heavy, bad, not straight, I'm afraid I'm going to pass out one moment or another.

I would like to be in a hospytal so that somebody would take my condition seriously and although I wouldn't have much hope I'll get better, at least I'd know I am sick. A doctor telling me I have something would make me more anxious in a way, but would let me shout "Finally!! Finally somebody believes I have something, finally my feeling sick corresponds to being sick".

This might sound like plain anxiety, friends, but believe me it doesn't feel like such. I KNOW I have something. I don't know what it is, I don't even care. That I have something or not, I don't like living in this way. It's not what I define "life". Being constantly worried, feeling so sick you can't really do anything. When I conquer some hope, like I did yesterday, something comes right away to destroy it. It sucks. Way too much.

I guess this says "Help".

[V for Victor]

Jeordie,

Your condition does have a name. I think you already mentioned it: Anxiety, and possibly hypochondria.

You sound exactly like me, before I started on medication. My brain kept telling me to be afraid, kept telling me that I was about to die soon, and it wouldn't stop.

Eventually, it got to where I was just sitting around all day, unable to go to work, unable to even eat or drink anything, for fear it might be contaminated, I would have a terrible allergic reaction to it, or anything other terrible outcome. I was only eating cereal, drinking ice water or apple juice. That was it.

Finally, I went to a doctor and she prescribed citalopram. Of course, it was about two weeks before I actually started taking it because I was afraid of it. But I'm glad I did start taking it because, for once in my life, I feel in control of myself. I know that all that is wrong with me is a glitch in my brain's wiring.

That's what you have to keep in mind: It's just your brain sending false messages. Trust me, I know it feels like you're going to die, or something terribly serious is wrong, but it's just your brain sending you FALSE messages, due to a wiring or chemical problem. No biggie, unless it's driving you to a point where you cannot funciton, such as was my case, and yours.

You need to go talk to a doctor about this. The doctor WILL be able to give you a name for your problem, and a solution.

You'll be alright. :)

[jitters]

V for Victor is right, but by Anxiety we dont mean just worry like Joe Bloggs on the street it is a physical and mental illness, not like Schizoprinia i.e. it is changable you are not mad. The hypochondria is like a add-on but unlike some kinds of hypochondria it is brought on by Genuine Symptoms caused by your bodys Fear response. Want a fancy label call it GAD (general anxiety syndrome), I know its hard to make family and friends understand just how bad the illness is without a scary sounding name, but we get it and it is one of the hardest things anyone can have to deal with. Beacause ultimately your fighting with your own bodies natural defense system. Dont give up we are here if you need us.

Duncan

[Jeordie]

Thank you both. I don't have much to say now, it's been an ugly day...of course it can't get much worse. Right now I don't think I have a bad illness, I don't feel extremely dizzy...still I'm disconcerted by how I felt earlier.
Will let you know. Thanks for the support.